The Hijinks War

2. Hurricane Katia

-.-

"You have to see it!"

I peeked out from under my covers at Jess, laughing as she entered our room. I wondered how she could be so awake after only three hours of sleep. Me? I would be a tired, cranky, mess, carrying a heap of bitch that I would be all too happy to dole out to those around me.

I rolled out of bed, untangling my still boot clad foot from my sheets and stumbled to the bathroom. Jess giggled at my sluggishness.

"Did you just get in?" I asked as I got ready. Her straight bottle-blonde bob was pulled back into a neat ponytail, and she'd even applied makeup.

"I went to get Jacks and Kellen. They can't even breathe, they're laughing so hard!"

Get Jackson and Kellen! Were they going to come by our room? I quickly washed the thought from my head and finished getting ready. Whether or not they stopped by our room before going down, none of the Trifecta would ever miraculously notice fall madly in love with me. Not that I wanted them to! Plain and simply, I was Private Kemper to them—or Natalie when they deigned to use an actual name. I wondered as I tied back my long hair and glossed my lips, if it was so wrong that I didn't want to be noticed for looking a mess?

The hallways were full of pajama clad students from both sides, giggling about the scene in the quad and common room. I smiled to myself; secret pranks had always been my favorite. Like that June day the year before when we'd all woken up to snow in the quad and both sides had unknowingly walked out in flip flops. How the Hellhounds had done it, we still didn't know.

"You have to see the quad!" Jess dragged me down the stairs. In our haste to get back to our rooms without getting caught, none of us had had the time to admire our work.

As we stepped into the main floor common room, I cackled helplessly. A streamer of bras, connected end to end, hung from the school crest above the fireplace to the ends of the mantle.

Another obnoxious cackle, not Jess's, echoed mine, and I turned to see Jackson and Kellen, in tears as they laughed. Catching my eye, they composed themselves, and that rare moment of realness was gone. Like it was beneath them to cackle like the others, they were careful to show only mild amusement when they went out into the quad.

They strolled directly to the benches in the middle, and sat among the four elaborately decorated stone students. The statues were draped in brightly colored lingerie; one of them even wore a pair of girl boxers as a hat. The boys looked at them as if impressed, only furthering the confusion at who was responsible for the prank. I snickered when I noticed that some of the girls had even put makeup on the statues they'd dressed and stuffed the bras on the male statues.

Jess and I sat in the grass, not too far from the benches, with a few girls who'd been on our mission the night before. I watched, curious and amused, as Jess flirted with frizzy haired Ashley, who we'd known since freshman year.

I would have asked her about it, but the residence door slammed open with such force that we all jumped.

"KEL-LEN!"

"Oh shit!" chorused around the quad.

The Hellhounds Triad descended the stairs like modern day tv witches; arms linked, glowering, each step hitting the ground in practiced unison. It would have been an impressive scene if they weren't all wearing pajamas. Which was not a normal occurrence with the Triad.

The round-faced girl on the end, flipped a sheet of black hair over her shoulder, winked and waved at friends, with a noticeable bounce in her step. Like a veritable anime character. Lieutenant Colonel Vivienne Levinson. Daughter of a leading scientist in medicine. Hellhounds third in command.

It was clear the hold the tall blonde had on the one in the middle, was the only thing keeping Kellen from being flattened. She quietly regarded the Trifecta with disdain only a sister of boys could muster. Command Sergeant Major Hadley Freemont. Youngest child and only daughter of a political heavyweight. Hellhounds second in command.

With her curly auburn hair flinging wildly in all directions, their leader pulled her arm from her friends grips and stomped ahead of them. General Katia—Hellbitch—Morgan. Short, curvaceous, and fiery, she ran the Hellhounds army ruthlessly. Without ever taking her angry gaze off Kellen, she tore her things off the statues and threw them over her shoulder, where Hadley and Vivienne caught and shoved them into a bag.

"Yeees?" Kellen's innocent wide-eyed look only served to anger her more, but I'm sure he knew that. "What can I do for you, Katia-dear?"

Katia stared Kellen down for a long moment, her face almost pressed against his. "You will pay for this, Fitzpatrick!" she glowered and snatched her boxers off the statue that leaned on the bench behind Kellen. She spun around, whipping her hair into his face and marched back to the dorms. "You better hope that Headmaster Sorenson hasn't noticed this, because you may have just forfeited the year before it's even started!"

As Hurricane Katia blew back into residence, beeps and buzzes coursed through the quad. As we all peered at our phones, we were rewarded with the first official hijINKs announcement, a nod to the thrown gauntlet and opening of the war.