Break Me One More Time [McLennon]

in which we remember barney

Tw: discussion of injury and death, funeral services

~~~

Back at the Unknowables Headquarters, John's gunshot wound was quickly taken care of and he and Paul were given a room where they could stay and rest for a few days until John was completely healed. They didn't hear from Stuart, but neither of them asked for him.

George came around on the second morning. He very gently told Paul that Barney had been found dead in the office, and he looked more than shocked to hear Paul's trembling confession that he and John had been the first ones to find Barney dead, slumped against a wall.

Nobody bothered them for the rest of day two, so Paul slept all day. After that, they talked some, then spent a lot of time not talking, then they slept some more. It was hard to figure out just what they were supposed to be doing amidst everything, so they were wound up doing whatever felt right from moment to moment.

On the third night, there was a knock at the door. John jumped out of his half asleep state and grappled at Paul's shoulder. "Who's there?" He said, sounding panicked.

Paul frowned. "I don't know." He crossed the room and peeked out into the hall.

"Hi," George said quietly. "Can you come with me? John, too? Lilly's asking for us all."

"Yeah, just give us a minute to get dressed, yeah?"

A few minutes later, they were following George at a brisk pace. They arrived at a door that George knocked lightly on and Lilly quickly let them in.

"The kids are with my mom," Lilly told them softly. "Please, sit. Thank you for coming."

They were straining to hear her, but they didn't ask her to speak up.

"I've hardly been able to think about this, but it's happening tomorrow," Lilly went on. "Barney's funeral."

None of them said anything.

"I have to..." she paused, and sighed. "I have to choose pallbearers. God, I didn't think I'd have to say that for a long time."

"I'm so sorry, Lilly," Paul almost sobbed, just barely holding it all together.

Lilly shook her head. "Don't be. And not just because it's not your fault, and not just because he wouldn't want you to, all right? I mean, don't be. Because he believed in the change you could bring. He believed you were the only one who could do it. And that's why he did what he did."

Paul shook his head. "I haven't brought about any change. I've just mucked things up a few times and helped here and there."

"No," Lilly sighed, shaking her head. "You've done a whole lot more than you think." She smiled sadly. "So, be a pallbearer? All three of you? Please, I don't know who else to ask."

John raised his eyebrows. "Well, there's not exactly enough of us here, lady," he quipped.

Lilly laughed. "I've asked Yoko and Marbella as well. Darren's recovering—"

Paul was surprised to hear that Darren was alive.

"Of course," George said.

"Oh, well, yes," Paul said quickly. "I didn't think I even needed to answer. Obviously."

John nodded. "He was a good man. Yeah, I'm happy to."

"Wonderful." Lilly nodded. "Thank you. Now I just need to find one more person, and—"

"I'll make Ringo do it!" George said.

"Oh, are... are you sure?"

"Yeah. Don't worry about it."