Now or Never

Chapter Nineteen

"Oh, hi, Amalia." I come to an abrupt stop before entering the dining hall for dinner. Eric and the woman with the case stand in front of me and Tobias. People stray away as far as they can, no one wants to get in his way.

"Eric," I nod, glancing at the woman then back to our 'fearless leader'.

"It's come to my attention that you're one of the last people who hasn't received our gift from Erudite. It's a must for all faction members, I'm afraid." He sets his hand out flat beside him, the woman takes a syringe from the case and places it in his palm.

I narrow my eyes on him; I know there's not a chance to get out of this, but why would they be strictly looking for the people who haven't? "Can't she inject me with the serum."

"Oh, come on, Mal," he chuckles, "we're old friends."

"Is that what you would call it?" Tobias joins in, I think he can tell how uncomfortable I feel towards Eric touching me. A small rush of panic rushes over me; does he know what happened? "Can I inject her with the serum instead, if it'll make her more comfortable with involuntarily allowing a needle into her neck."

Eric scans us, sighing as he passes the needle over. "Stop wasting my time. I do have a speech to give."

Tobias pushes my hair over my shoulder for me, I crook my neck to allow the plunger to push through my skin. It's been a while since I've dealt with needles, I avoid them at all costs nowadays.

"There," Tobias hands the syringe back to Eric and replaces it with my hand.

As he pulls me into the dining hall, Eric turns with a smirk I manage to catch. "Enjoy the banquet."

...

Our plates are loaded with food, ones the cooks save for this very occasion. Foods no Abnegation would ever dream of having.

"No I didn't!" Shauna objects across the table, Zeke placed across from her.

"She did! When we were running to shoot the other team, she fell right down on her face and gave her that scar above her eyebrow," Zeke laughs, holding his stomach.

Everyone listening in laughs, I can't help but smile. Mainly because I was there to see it for myself.

"You know I got this from a fight," Shauna throws food at him, it smacks him right in the eye.

"Hey!" He groans, but laughs as he quickly recovers.

Shauna's about to say something else when the static from something echoes across the room, it must be time for the ranks.

We all look towards the front of the room, Eric is standing on top of one of the tables with a microphone in his hand. Everyone is silenced at once.

"We aren't big on speeches here. Eloquence is for Erudite," he begins, people all around us laugh. I wonder if they'd still laugh if they knew how much of an Erudite he still is. "So I'm going to keep this short. It's a new year, and we have a new pack of initiates. And a slightly smaller pack of new members. We offer them our congratulations."

As if on cue, the room is filled with cheers then pounding on the tables. Zeke smacks our table hard enough that a few cups fall over, drinks pour through the holes but no one mentions it.

I look over at Tobias, he's just watching with a smirk across his face.

"We believe in bravery. We believe in taking action. We believe in freedom from fear and in acquiring the skills to force the bad out of our world so that the good can prosper and thrive. If you also believe in those things, we welcome you."

More whoops and pounding echoes through the room, some glass shattering. Bottles being lifted midair to share with each other.

"Tomorrow, in their first act as members, our top ten initiates will choose their professions, in the order of how they are ranked," Eric says. "The rankings, I know, are what everyone is really waiting for. They are determined by a combination of three scores—the first, from the combat stage of training; the second, from the simulation stage; and the third, from the final examination, the fear landscape. The rankings will appear on the screen behind me."

The list appears on a screen behind them; the room is instantly filled with applause and cheers. I scan the list, happy to see everyone who I knew would make it, make the list. I'm not one bit surprised to see Tris is ranked first, she impressed everyone while they all underestimated her.

Shauna and Zeke close the space between them, hugging and pressing their lips against one another in a sloppy way. They must be a little too happy that their siblings made it through initiation.

Even though there's something happening to everyone, these transmitters being the first step, I smile and enjoy the moment like it's one of my last.

I stand up to join the others, smiling at Tobias who's grinning proudly towards his initiates.

"Congratulations on another year," I chuckle.

He wraps his arms around me, pressing his lips against mine. There's no need to hide our relationship now in front of the initiates when they aren't initiates anymore. They're members of our faction.

"Couldn't have made it without you," his head is pressed against mine.

I chuckle, smiling at him. "You know that's not true. If anything, I slowed you down."

His arm grips me closer, tighter. "You could never," he presses another kiss against my lips, just not as sloppy as the others.

"What the-" Zeke almost yells. We pull away to look at what he's focused on. We're all in shock to see Tris and Uriah kissing each other, he holds her up but still slouched over.

"That's my brother with number one!" Zeke gets out of his daze and whoops, clapping frantically.

I snort, Tobias laughs too. It's strange to see, yet feels right.

"To our new members!" Someone on the other side of the room raises their cup in the air. Everyone follows, though the room is still filled with cheering. We all clink our cups together, mine empty from the spill but it's the thought that counts.

We all share smiles, laughing and retelling old stories from our own initiation year. The good ones, the bad ones saved for another day. Tonight, to those who know, is about last chances... at least that's how I see it and that means there's no room for gloom.

A feeling that I have to push down with all my might. I will not allow this moment, this radiating feeling, to change.