Belonging | Alec Lightwood

(48) Hurricane

"Don't forget who you're talking to." Lydia warns, her demeanour stilling and voice like ice, "I am still the head of this Institute."

"Then why is my brother still missing?" He demands with venom, voice vibrating with anger as he steps even closer to Lydia, looking second away from imploding.

"Alec" I call, my tone beseeching, though his eyes barely reach mine.

Izzy sighs, stepping forwards hesitantly, her hand placing gently across Alec's forearm "Why don't you just take a break?" She suggests, her softness coming off in waves, but even this doesn't seem to break Alec's resolve.

"Not now Izzy" He grunts, tugging his arm from her hold and pulling back, the same look of chaos and wildness across his face.

"Isabelle's right, and it's not a request. You're dismissed" Lydia commands, her arms folding over as she glares down Alec, his face dissolving into hurt as he flits his eyes between them, the sweat now matting his hair to his forehead and his knuckles turning white from the pressure of his fists clenched at his sides.

"Fine!" He spits, swallowing down his rage and turning on his heel, looking ready to burn down a building with his emotions. I quickly catch up behind Alec, the heat of his fury and body scalding as I reach out to him, my hand softly enveloping over his wrist.

"Alec, hey" I call gently, though I'm cut off by his swift reaction.

He pulls, no rips, his arm from my hold as if I've burned him, his eyes remote and muddled looking at me, his expression one of guilt and blame, and in seconds he looks away- like he can't stand to see me. I gasp quietly, stepping back, reeling, not understanding what I could've done wrong.

"Everybody, just- just back off" He hisses low, his eyes snapping harshly between us all before he pivots on his legs and marches away.

"He's just upset- give him some space" Izzy mutters as she squeezes my hand and I nod, brushing off the hurt I feel at his actions and following the others back to the map.

***

"Mom" I call, watching as her gaze lifts, her eyes red and glazed over as she holds Clary in her arms, the green leaves and flowers of the conservatory comforting them, blanketing them over in peace and silence.

"Sweetheart" She smiles, standing up and wrapping her arms around me, only the second hug I've been able to give her since she woke, the chaos of the institute not giving us time to really be together.

"I've missed you so much" I whisper back, clutching her tightly to my body. She nods, barely able to speak, instead she merely holds me even closer, her hands reaching up and tangling into my soft brunette waves, her fingers instantly soothing across my scalp, pulling me back in time to my childhood and how easily she calmed me down and made me feel safe.

"I'm sorry- for everything, I thought I was protecting you both by lying to you, I was wrong for that" She mutters, pulling away and wiping the salty tears from my cheek, her hand caressing the wet skin as if she could stop me from ever crying again.

"I was mad at you" I whisper, clutching her hand tightly as I feel that pain again, "So mad at you for lying, about who our father was, about who we were, about everything- we had a right to know. It was so hard coming here, learning all of this, learning who I really am and what I'm capable of- you should've told us."

"I know Cam, I'm sorry, but I promise no more lies, no more secrets" She swears, her hand coming over my own, the tears falling just as restlessly from her own eyes. I nod, pulling her back in for another hug, needing to smell the vanilla of her perfume and feel the softness of her auburn hair.