22 First Kisses

21 ~ Hello Again

I've been sitting at the bar for the past half an hour with Kale by my side. I haven't taken a single shot. I haven't drank a single glass of beer. I'm completely sober. I don't want to forget how I feel right now. I want to feel it all in its fullness.

I miss Violet. That's the truth of it all

"Somehow you ended up right back in the place where you told me about her."

"Yep. Messed up over Maddie, now I'm messed up over Violet. Sensing a pattern here."

"This has no comparison to Maddie in my opinion."

"Why is that?"

"I think Violet makes you a better person. You were a kid when you met Maddie. She's your first love. Violet, however, is a grown woman. She still supports you like Maddie did, but there's something pure about that one. She looks at you like you're her only one. The only one she's ever loved."

I sit in silence as I ponder his words. There's a very good chance I could be the only one. I know me and her have talked about it before, but I always wondered if there was a special someone she was leaving out. This girl has never even been kissed. I don't even know if she knows what it's like to get your heartbroken.

I guess she didn't, but I just gave her a taste.

"I think I'm gonna head out man. I gotta get some snacks for the boy's next game. The mom who normally brings them is out sick."

"Okay Josh. Just don't be stupid okay?" he says to me, really looking into my eyes. I know he means it when he has that look on his face.

"I'll try my best."

~

Violet

I weave my way through the aisles of the grocery store, looking for some popcorn for another movie night I have planned with Angela. I gotta get the healthy stuff or else she'll kill me.

As I turn the corner, I lock eyes with a familiar blue that stops me dead in my tracks. My heart sinks instantly at the site of the ruffled brown locks and the shadow that lines his jaw. Those eyes look just as surprised to me as I'm sure mine do to him.

Should we speak? What would we even say? I never dated the guy, so I can't really be upset. I guess I can't.

I guess I'll be the first.

"How've you and Maddie been?" I ask trying to be polite. Even though the answer could very well kill me.

"Good." he says, but he never meets my eyes. They drift to the corners of my lips where my facade of a smile lays.

"That's great." I say feeling my voice begin to break. I swallow the growing lump in the back of my throat.

"How's the book deal going?" he asks.

"Good." I lie. The editor tore it all apart and now I'm back to square one. He doesn't need to know that though.

A long while passes between us with neither of us talking, and it reminds me of all the times we'd share moments like this before. I thought they meant something. I really did. I thought maybe there were unspoken thoughts. I loved those moments. Now I know they didn't mean a thing. I made it all up in my head.

"I miss you Violet." he says quietly and his voice cracks at my name. His sudden words interrupt my thoughts, and my whole heart shatters in my chest. Was I imagining it?

"I miss you too." I admit without truly thinking, and his shoulders drop at my words.

"What are you doing after this?" he asks me and it brings me back to the garden party when we went back to my apartment to read my books.

"Not a thing." I say fighting back a smile.

"Let's go to that plant nursery and feed your addiction." He says with a hopeful smile, and I nod my head yes.

"I'd love that."

~

I know, I know. I got a comment telling me to update, and I know I should've forever ago. I just get writers block, and then I get super busy. It just never seems to end. But if you're still reading, enjoy this update.

Thank you for your patience.

<3