Supernatural Oneshots (In Progress - 2021)

Not Today Satan - Lucifer x Reader

"How could a God let this happen to the Earth?" you wondered. You clicked the remote to turn off the television. News, the only thing that could depress someone in less that 10 minutes. After watching reports of climate disasters and politics, you still had to research for a case. 

You were a hunter, a damn good one at that. Your parents raised you as a Christian, but after becoming a hunter and learning about the monsters that filled the world, that daydream vanished. There was no way that you could pretend that there was a higher power that cared about you. There were monsters in front of you that you could hunt, that's what mattered. 

In that moment, you understood why, in the bible, Lucifer rebelled against heaven. There were priorities in heaven and Earth clearly wasn't one of them. 

"Fuck God! What has he done for me? I'd be better off praying to the devil!" you yelled out loud. You surprised yourself, just saying it aloud set your mind in stone. 

"God has done many things, but humanity was never his priority," a voice said. You turned around, grabbing a gun from the side table. A tall man stood in the middle of your motel room. He had light blond hair, dressed in a t-shirt, jeans and an open button up. 

"Who are you? How did you get in here?" you yelled at the man.

"Put the gun down Sweetheart, I'll explain." he said. 

"I think I'll hold onto this for now," you said, indicating the gun. "Now answer the question unless you want a bullet in your skull."

"Feisty, I knew there was a reason I took an interest in you," he replied, smirking.

Fed up with his antics, you shifted the gun in your hand an pulled the trigger. The bullet lodged itself exactly where you wanted it, his shoulder. Not a life threatening wound, but a persuasion tactic. 

"Damn, that's annoying." he said. He snapped his fingers, and the wound healed. The bullet, extracted from his flesh, clinked when in fell to the ground. 

"What are you?" you rephrased the question.

"I'm Lucifer," he said. You stared at him blankly.  

"Um, what?" you said, still trying to process what he told you.

"I'm Lucifer. I heard you curse God and came up to see for myself." he said. You remembered what you said in the moments before he arrived. 'Fuck God.'

"No. There is no God," you reply.

"I hate to break it to you, but there is. And he's a huge douche, so don't worry about missing anything." Lucifer replied. 

You sank back onto your motel bed, placing your head in your hands. 

"No, no, no. This isn't happening, not now," you whisper to yourself. 

"Y/N, are you okay?" he asked, his tone soft.

You try to slow your racing heartbeat. Taking slow breaths. Inhale, exhale, inhale, exhale. It didn't work, your heart was beating loud in your ears. You tried to stand, but black spots appeared before your eyes. You stumbled to the floor and the last thing you saw before blacking out was Lucifer's surprisingly concerned face looking down at you. 

You awoke later, not knowing how much time had passed. It could have been hours or even days. You were no longer lying on the floor, but tucked in your bed. You looked around for Lucifer, but he wasn't in the motel room anymore. Feeling disappointed, you turned to your nightstand to take a drink of water. Next to the glass, you saw a small handwritten note. 

Y/N, I've headed out to gather some food. You are out of angelic refreshments and you need food too. I will be back shortly. 

- Lucifer. 

So he hadn't been gone for long. Before you could think too much on the matter, you heard the door open. 

"I hate Earth," he said, stepping through the doorway. 

"Why?" you questioned. 

"No foods worth my time," Lucifer replied curtly. He held a bag of what smelled like fried food. He tossed the bag onto the coffee table. Your stomach growled as you reached for the meal. 

"So, remind me why you're here again," you said. 

Lucifer looked at you, debating his words. 

"I want to know if you really hate God," he said, slowly. "If so..."

"Well, I cant really think that God has a plan for me, especially after... everything." you said. 

"What?" he asked. 

"Everyone starts hunting for a reason." you avoided the question. 

"Why me? I'm sure there are plenty of other people who hate God," you question. 

"Ah, but you have to leave something to be discovered." he snapped his fingers and disappeared. 

"LUCIFER!" you shout. You notice a small piece of paper on the ground where he stood a moment ago. You picked it up and read,

If you need me, I mean emergencies, not 'I'm bored,' call out my name. I will hear it and pop in if I can. 

-Lucifer (AKA Satan)

You had a feeling the next few years would be very different. 

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Hey guys, gals, and non-binary pals! I hope you all liked the first onshore in this book. Feel free to request pairings and story ideas in the comments. I want to be able to publish a lot of stories, but I might run out of ideas. I'm definitely going to do a part 2 of this.