The Love She'll Never Have ✅

Ch. 5

Crosshairs POV
I was hoping Drift's nightmare wouldn't return last night. Of course, I was wrong, and it was rough getting him to calm down. I hope he doesn't decide not to sleep. Even if we can go without sleep for five days, it's not going to be great when he's asleep for a good two days from lack of sleep.
I don't know what to say to change his mindset. I hate when his fear Jamie could die comes back, though this time it's will she end her life?
I don't think she will. She's in so much emotional and mental pain, but she loves us.
Of course, I worry I'm wrong, and she ends her life.
Prime waited for us to talk to Drift. Not sure what he can say to get Drift out of this.

I didn't think Sunstreaker would be in Jamie's room.
"How bad was he?" Sunstreaker asks.
"It was rough."
"What do you expect? To him, no one was with Jamie, and though she has been sleeping all night, you know how that can change to she sleeps for a couple of hours before waking up, or being up all night,  and after what happened last night, I see why he panicked. Though I'm amazed he doesn't sleep with her."
"I don't know if that's a good idea."

Drift walks in five minutes later and lays on the bed. I didn't expect Sunstreaker to shove me out of the room.
"Payback for last night," he smiles.

We go get breakfast then Sunstreaker insists I do a workout with him. No doubt he's trying to distract me.

Drift POV
My poor girl, I'm so tired of watching you deal with this, and there's nothing I can do to help you.
I move her onto me and hug her. I don't want to make her cry, but I need to figure out what else is bothering her, even if there's nothing I can do to help her.

I don't have to wait long before Jamie wakes up. I love how she looks at me, smiling.
How long will your happy mood last?
She rests her head back on my chest. It's only nine in the morning; I'll let her go back to sleep.

Jamie POV
I'm so tired of this, at least I can hide this pain for now, but this doesn't last long. For now, I don't have to lie that I have to use the bathroom. I add that I want to take a shower.

Drift leaves the room before I get in the shower. I know he'll be back; I just hope I can hide I've been crying before he gets back.

Tears roll down my face as I shower. I can't take this anymore, but I can't hurt the others more than I have. I sit on the floor of the shower and cry, hoping the running water will drain out the sound if Drift walks into my room.

Drift POV
I got dressed and made breakfast for Jamie and me to bring up to her room. Crosshairs had finished his workout and shower by the time I finished cooking breakfast. I let him come upstairs with me.
Jamie is still in the shower; It's odd for Jamie to shower for an hour. I'm afraid to see if I made I mistake leaving her alone, but I doubt Crosshairs will like seeing her nude.
I open the door until we both hear crying over the running water.
"Fuck, I don't want to add her displeasure that I'm seeing her nude to our problems, but..."
I get Jamie's bathrobe from the closet.
"I'll dry her off and have her put this on."

I walk into the bathroom, leaving the door open enough for Crosshairs to hear what's going on.
I can turn off the water without getting soaked. I wrap a full-body towel around my girl as she looks at me, tears still rolling down her face. So glad she uses an electric razor otherwise, I might have walked into a different scene.
"What's wrong?" I ask as I dry her off.
I hate how she won't answer me. Crosshairs and I agreed not to force Jamie to tell us what's on her mind, but I think this time we need to push her to tell us, and I think Crosshairs would agree. Either way, she's going to cry.

Crosshairs POV
Damn, this is not good. I'd hate to force Jamie to talk, but I don't think we can wait until she wants to tell us what's on her mind. I sit on the bed and wait for them.

Drift POV
I got Jamie dried, and she put her bathrobe on. I made sure it's tight around her before picking her up and carrying her to the bed.
I dread doing this, but I have to.
"Jamie, tell us what's wrong? I know you're not telling us everything."
"Why should I?" She asks before crying again, "there's nothing anyone can do."
"Maybe not, but you need to tell us," Crosshairs insists.
Jamie hugs me , buries her face on my chest, and continues to cry.
"I can't do this," I tell Crosshairs.
"She'd be crying like this anyway. We have to know what's been bothering her."
I know he also hates this, but he's right.
I rub Jamie's back, trying to get her to calm down.
"I-I...." I hear Jamie mumble.
"Tell us my sweetspark."
"I'm tired of this shit. I can't talk to people, even online. I have no friends, and I have terrible anxiety every time I try to talk to people. There's nothing anyone can do, and if this all ends...."
I feel like there's more, but Jamie can't say any more; instead, she's crying even more.

Sunstreaker POV
Crosshairs and Drift left the door to Jamie's room open a little. I lean on the wall, listening to Jamie cry as she tells Crosshairs and Drift what's on her mind though I don't think that's everything;

I hate hearing this even though I've been telling the others this is what we need to do. I didn't suggest this to Jamie; I know we leave the decisions up to Crosshairs and Drift, with Ratchet and Prime stepping in when they feel they need to. I go up to my room and do a little art.

Sideswipe walks in ten minutes later.
"Prime had to make Drift go for a walk with Crosshairs," Sideswipe tells me, "I know he's worried about Jamie, but this isn't like him."
"Who's with her now?" I ask.
"She is asleep."
I don't know if it's a good idea to leave her alone. I'll go to her room in an hour.

Crosshairs is keeping Drift busy downstairs in the theater room. There are seven other Autobots and four humans around, but I'd rather sit in Jamie's room.

Turns out she's awake and watching T.V. That's what I get for working on my art for longer than an hour. It's amazing Crosshairs can keep Drift distracted this long.
Jamie watches me walk into the room. I hate how depressed she is. Jamie has no problem with me laying on the bed with her. I figured Drift would have dressed her once she fell asleep. I lay on the bed with her.