𝚁 𝙴 𝙵 𝙻 𝙴 𝙲 𝚃 𝙸 𝙾 𝙽 | 𝙴𝚛𝚎𝚗 𝚡 𝚁𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚎𝚛

𝙵 𝙸 𝚅 𝙴

For the majority of the weekend, I didn't do much. Well, I did stuff, but nothing productive. I didn't hear from Jean again—and I couldn't tell if I should be relieved or worried. In the end, I was happy to have some time to myself, and a few days off to ignore the rest of the world.

I'd gotten a text from Historia, inviting me to go bowling with everyone on Saturday night, but I knew I didn't have it in me. I immediately felt bad; I told her I wasn't able to, but I would for sure next time.

Sunday morning, I'd woken up and missed Sasha so badly it had felt hard to breathe, so I decided to go to the public garden near my house. It was one of my favourite places to go after what happened. Somehow... it was the one place that felt like she was still there with me; I would begin to feel less...alone.

Feeling particularly lonely today, I decided that was something I needed.  If I could feel Sasha with me, it would mean she wasn't as disappointed in me as I was. I needed to be on my own and think for a while.

I let my mom know where I was headed this time so she wouldn't freak out. Throwing on my jacket and bringing my keys, I headed out the door, making my way along the sidewalk. The garden was usually not very busy at all—and was only a fifteen minute walk from my house.

Unlike Friday, today was cold. There was no sun, but at least it wasn't raining.

I made my way to the park up on a hill, finding my usual empty bench waiting for me, surrounded by tall pine trees and looking out over the entire garden. I inhaled the cold air and the smell of the outdoors, shivering a bit at the wind.

I stared out across the expanse of land; I couldn't help but think of Sasha.

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"(Y/N)?!" Sasha called out.

I didn't answer, sitting on the bench with my knees held to my chest, trying to keep the tears from leaking through my closed eyes.

"(Y/N)!—" She emerged from behind the trees, pausing her shouting when she saw me hunched over, wanting to disappear. I looked up at her, not able to suppress my emotions any longer.

"Oh, (Y/N)..." Sasha looked at me, and the sadness that crept over her features was enough to break me completely.

I started sobbing right then and there, and she rushed up to me, sitting on the bench beside me and holding me silently. I cried and cried for an eternity—so long I'd lost track of time.

Eventually, I calmed to the point where I could breathe. The only thing that brought me back was when Sasha began speaking.

"I'm so sorry... Connie just told me what happened. I didn't know...if you'd be at home or not."

I didn't say anything—I had nothing to say. My dad left us this morning. He had just decided to get up and leave. He'd written a letter for my mom, but nothing for me. He hadn't even mentioned me in the letter. My mom wouldn't let me read it at first, but she gave in after arguing for hours. I'd read it, and an overwhelming silence had filled my mind, numbing my body, as each word registered in my brain. He had left...and all the letter contained was an apology, not even an explanation.

It was all my fault. It was all my fault. I couldn't stop thinking it over and over again.

Sasha held me for a few minutes more.

"I wasn't good enough," I croaked out, my voice all raspy. I felt empty, staring out across the park.

Her grip tightened on me. "(Y/N), look at me."