Cucummato (TianShan)

29. Breathe

Mo Guan Shan

Usually, Mo Guan Shan is so eager to finish his shift so he could go home and sleep but now, he wished that the night would stretch until all the cause of his anxieties would resolve themselves without him having to deal with all the emotional burden. Just to be clear, it's not about his occupied room at all. What he dreaded so much was going to He Tian's posh apartment and not knowing what to say and how to act.

Maybe he should just press the buzzer, leave the backpack and run for his life. But then it would make things even more awkward in school.

He groaned. Why do these things have to be so complicated?

Before he could finally decide what to do, he's already in front of He Tian's door. He licked his lower lip and winced. One problem at a time. He's not big on mental multi-tasking.

The door opened just as he was about to press the button.

"Oh, hey," He Tian said and stopped in his tracks. He looked like he's in a hurry, wearing an all-black outfit he usually wears whenever Mo Guan Shan meets him out of school.

Mo Guan Shan took a stepped back to keep his distance. He swallowed hard to keep himself from stammering.

"What are you doing here?" He Tian asked and then he checked his watch. It's almost midnight. Not the usual time for visitors. Mo Guan Shan knew that of course, but he still came.

"Uh, your b-bag," Mo Guan Shan said and raised the backpack so it hung between them. The taller guy held the strap where he was clutching and their fingers were right next to each other.

"Do you wanna come inside?"

Mo Guan Shan let go of the strap and awkwardly scratched the back of his neck without looking directly at He Tian.

"Nah. You're going out right? I should be going."

"I was planning to go out. But I can cancel plans."

"Why would. . ."

"You're asking why?" He Tian said, frowning. Mo Guan Shan bit his lip and immediately realized that the other guy was watching his every move. When he winced with the pain, He Tian reached out a hand and dragged him inside the apartment. The door automatically closed behind them.

He's to guilty to try and fight back.

"What is up with you?" He Tian asked. He dropped his bag on the floor and held Mo Guan Shan's shoulders. "Do you think I'm just playing?"

"No."

"Right. I'm dead serious about this. I can defy gravity for you," He Tian smiled as he tried to catch Mo Guan Shan's eyes.

Where should he start? What is he going to tell him?

"Are you dumping me?" He Tian asked. "You really can't? Is all these too much for you?"

"No!" Mo Guan Shan exclaimed. He felt He Tian's palm on the side of his neck and he closed his eyes.

It's different after all. That silver-haired guy didn't have the ability to shake him like this. No wonder he wasn't repulsed. It was like kissing a puppy. Weird but nothing more.

It's just their skins but his heart started hammering like a war drum. He Tian stood patiently, waiting for him to speak.

"What if I start loving you too much and your grandfather sees through it? I don't want him to hate me," Mo Guan Shan managed to say without choking. He's on the verge of crying but he held on. He's had enough embarrassing moments for the day.