jen ledger/ben kasica fanfic (DISCONTINUED)

SHOW

JEN POV

"Kor, Ben kissed me."

Korey's eyes widen. "He kissed you?! How?"

We're in the dressing room for our show tonight. I'm thankful to finally be in a dressing room, finally away from being stuck around Ben in the bus and from him at sound checking.

I explain to her how Ben stealing my in-ears caused the kiss in the bus. "So, yeah... that's why it's been awkward today," I finish.

"Wow. I can't say I entirely approve of him kissing you before you even start dating," Korey half-laughs. "...But you do like him," she adds. I talked to her about Ben about a month ago, once I started to realize I had feelings for him.

I nod. "Yeah... he took it badly when I didn't know how to respond and I don't know what to do now."

She shrugs, then bends over to start putting on her black boots. "If you could do it over again, what would you have done differently?" she asks, beginning to tie her laces.

I think for a moment. "I would've told him how I felt about him," I decide.

"I think you should do that, then," Korey says. Then she sits up and looks at me. "But first, make sure you pray about it."

I nod. "Yeah, of course." Then I check the clock on the wall of the dressing room. "Showtime," I say with a half smile.

******

While no one else can tell, the show tonight is secretly awkward. Ben doesn't make eye contact with me like he usually does, and he didn't come over by the drum kit as much. And when we get back to the bus, I awkwardly avoid him until I finally escape to my bunk. I pray, like Kor suggested, before I fall asleep.

******
(the next day)

Soundcheck this morning is just as awkward, if not worse than yesterday's. We need to talk so we can figure out our stage sound for a good show, so that doesn't help. Whenever I say something to Ben, he won't look at me. And when he says something to me, his tone is flat.

"Jen, will you go get Scotty for me," he says, his voice lacking the usual inflection a question or request should have.

"Okay," I say simply. As I stand up from behind my drum kit to go do what he's asked, I notice John and Kor both watching us. Korey whispers something to John and he nods agreement, smiling a small, mischievous grin.

****

Tonight's show is the same as last night's show: secretly awkward. The whole time I can't stop thinking about what I'm going to do, the doubtful part of me fighting the hopeful. Should I approach him? No, maybe not... What should I say to him after the show? Nothing, you idiot, just don't, you've already ruined it by not saying anything when he kissed you... But maybe I can fix it? I doubt you can...

Finally the show ends, and by the time we walk off stage, I've made my decision.

I catch up with Ben as he's walking off stage before me. "Ben-I, uh, have to tell you something," I say, tapping him on the shoulder.

"Yeah?" he says, turning to face me. He looks at me, his eyes suddenly hopeful as though he might know what I'm going to say. But I don't know how to say it.

So I step forward, closing the space between us, and kiss him. He smiles, wrapping his arms around me, and returns the kiss. That is, until we hear John's voice behind us, "It's about time!" he laughs loudly when Ben and I pull away. Korey's behind him, laughing as well.

Ben laughs at him. Then he looks at me, beaming. "Jen, since this has been a really awkward two days, will you allow me to make that up by going on a date with me?" he asks.

I smile and laugh and hug him tightly even though we're both awfully sweaty from the show. "I'd love to," I say.

"Cool," he says, smiling even wider.

I laugh at his dorkiness. "Cool," I agree.

****

A/N: this is not the end, not even close;) you've got a big storm coming with lots of feels >:D