Born in Blood

Twenty

Later Shade found a small motel on a corner street, just a block away from the Casino. He left to grab some dinner while I showered.

I scrubbed my skin to get rid of his touch. Washed my hair until I no longer felt his hands tangled in it. I brushed my teeth to forget the feeling of his mouth on mine. I felt cheap, it's not the first time I've been used.

When I was only ten our teacher saw my liking to knives and promised me some after school lessons. I thought nothing of it, but June was always curious about the lessons. If only I had listened. I think all of my classmates saw it coming, the look of sadness on their faces when I wouldn't go back to my dorm right away said it all. My teacher was smart about it for the first few lessons, but his agenda was discovered only after four sessions.

I don't remember much of what happened. I felt ripped right down the center and something about me felt broken. Boss visited me in the hospital once. Told me I had gotten ill from fighting. He rubbed my shoulder and brought me a chocolate bar. I never did see my teacher again. When I finally returned to school, no one spoke about my absence and our new female teacher acted like she knew use since we were five. I guess all of that avoidance made me forgot for a while what happened.

The hot water ran down my back while I muddled through the dark clips of my childhood. The sound of the door slamming brought me back. I climbed out of the shower and dry off. Once I was dressed and found Shade laying on the bed. He was eating some noddles. His face showed no emotion. He left the food on the bed and walked over to me.

I stiffened at how close we were. He was going to go past me and go into the bathroom but he stopped and turned back to me.

"Mazikeen, I'm sorry. I just forgot that-"

"We're even now."

"What?"

"I did it to you, you did it to me. We're even."

"That's not what this is about Mazikeen."

"It doesn't matter." I mumbled and made my way over the the bed. Shade followed at sat down next to me.

"It matters to me, Maze." He almost yelled gripping my hand.

I was angry that now he cared. He didn't seem to care when we were ten or when we were in that fitting room, but now, he cares.

"Why would it? You hate me I hate you. You should love to see me like this. Angry that is."

Shades face fell and his grip turned into his hands rubbing the back of my hands. He wrapped an arm around my waist and pulled my head to his chest. His chin rested on top.

"I don't hate you Mazikeen. I never could."

"Why?" I almost started to cry, but I wouldn't in front of him.

"Because I was never allowed to feel anything else towards you. Anything but my hatred for you, would have made Boss take you away from me. Caring about anyone made you weak, hatred always made me strong. So I festered it. When Boss found out that my aggression came from my hatred towards you. We stayed in the same classes, and were always roomed close together. I got to stay with you our whole childhood and through all those teenage years too."

"What are you talking about?"

"Not only were you my biggest competition, always wanting to one up me, you were the one I wanted to fight along side. For some reason I trust you the most in our hell like lives."

I lifted my head from his chest and looked into his eyes. Guilt was all over. "You don't hate me?"

"Not in the slightest. To hate you, would only torture the only human parts left of me."

"So you don't hate me? Then what is it that you feel, Shade?"

"Not hate. That's all I can say. I don't hate you."

"I don't hate you either Shade."

"I should have stopped him Mazikeen. For that I'll never forgive myself." He whispered.

"Wasn't for you to stop. Everyone is supposed to go through a darkest hour, that was mine."

"Your sure, being found in a pool of blood to become an assassin wasn't?"

"Okay maybe I have two." I laughed.

He stood from the bed and head back to the bathroom. "Eat up, your clothes are in the closet. We leave in a two hours."

***
I ate, napped, and got dress before we had to leave. My scarlet red cocktail dress hugged my hips and stopped mid thigh. A slit ran high up, it was a corset like top that allowed me to conceal a few of my favorite daggers. I put on sheer stockings and stepped into my heels. I brushed threw my hair and wiped some dark red lipstick with hints of black across my lips.

Shade came from the bathroom with his midnight black suit with accents of silver and the same color of scarlet. His hair was gel into place with a still subtle messy element. He lined his pockets with folds of money, even gave me one in case we were separated.

"Ready?" I asked.

"Yep." Shade was clearly acting different after our little heart to heart but once we were close to our targets I know he'll loosen up.

On our walk to the Casio I was desperate to break the odd silence. I even missed the insults.

"What game are we playing tonight?" Shade finally spoke.

"Black jack?"

"I don't like those odds."

"Crabs?"

"Needs to much attention."

"Roulette?"

"That's the one. If only it was truly Russian."

"Would make this a lot easier." I groaned. True Russian Roulette only needed vodka, a gun, six suicidal contestants, and a single bullet. You would load the bullet and each person would cock it back and aim it at their temple. They pull the trigger then they either happen to fire the round that contains the bullet or they live and pass the gun on.

Probability is 1/6, definitely high enough for a death wish.

We get to the Casio already in motion from the gambles. Shade and I check it and head to the back where the tables are waiting.

We don't stop for the slot machines. Those were made for unskilled gamblers and woman in their late 50s. You could sit all day, watching the imagines fly by, and drink to your heart's content. To get the Anwar's attention we needed to win big at a table.

You've heard the expression the house always wins. Tonight the Anwar's were the house, hosting the games. If we won big enough they would take us to their back room and talk about rematches or convincing us to keep playing, all to make more money. It would be the perfect time for a kill.

"Here's what we are going to do. We bet on red or black-"

"Best probability. Comes out to a 18/38."

"Don't interrupt me. But yes that's correct."

"But Shay to really get their attention we should bet on green, which is 2/38 or a single value, which is 1/38. High risk high reward."

"Do you ever listen? And don't call me Shay. My names Shade."

"Your right I don't listen Shay. Get me an old fashioned and let's pick a table. I'm feeling lucky."

"I can't stand you Kenny." He grumbled waking over to the bar against the wall.

"At least you don't hate me." I whispered after him.