one shots of merder

chapter 18

set in 3x01

"So, what does this mean?" Meredith asked, as she fumbled with a napkin cover in her hands, looking at Derek. He just stared, amazed by the fact that Meredith couldn't figure it out. "It means you have a choice. You have a choice to make. And I don't want to rush you into making decision before you're ready." Meredith just looked at him, not expecting him to say what he was saying. She couldn't speak. "This morning I was going to come over, and I was going to say..." He stuttered a bit. 

"W-what I wanted to say was..." Derek couldn't get the words out of his mouth. He shook his head. "But now all I can say is that..." He paused. Meredith couldn't stop looking at him. Her eyes were glued to his. She could feel herself becoming emotional. Derek looked into her eyes, hoping she could feel the love radiating from him. "I'm in love with you. Ive been in love with you for... ever." Meredith couldn't believe the smile on his face. It was one of the biggest she has ever seen on him. Derek felt like he was walking on air. It felt so good to tell her, to let her know. Meredith couldn't believe his words. She smiled as he continued talking and tears welled up in her eyes.

"I'm a little late. I know, I'm a little late in telling you that." He sighed, thinking about what to say next. "I just- I just want you to take your time, you know?" Meredith's smile fell and her face changed. This isn't what she wanted to hear. She wanted him to say that he wanted her, to be able to walk the halls of the hospital hand in hand. She didn't want to hear about making a choice, he was finally tell her that he loved her. And now she has to make a choice?

 "Take all the time you need. Because you have a choice to make. And when I had a choice to make... I chose wrong." Meredith was trying to hold back her tears, but they were just getting too heavy to hold. She didn't want him to leave, she couldn't. Derek smiled at her, a sad smile. He sighed deeply, "Alright, good night." He said, chuckling a little as he walked out of the room.

She couldn't move. Meredith was stuck in place, not knowing what to do. She wanted to run after him. Jump into his arms and never let go. She wanted to wake up to him everyday, and fall asleep next to him for the rest of her life. She gasped a little when she heard the front door open and shut. Meredith blinked her tears away and ran towards the front of her house. She opened her door and yelled, "Derek, wait!" 

She hoped he heard her, and she ran towards his car. Derek, confused, got out and walked towards her. She has panting and crying. "Meredith? What's wrong-" He was cut off by her lips. She grabbed his face and pulled him into her. He kissed her back, taking her hips in his hands. He savored her lips, for the last time. Derek leaned back, out of breathe. Meredith opened her eyes and licked her swollen lips.

"Meredith...". He said, a sad look on his face  once Meredith looked at him. Meredith knew what he was going to say so she leaned onto her toes to kiss his cheek and he walked towards her front door. Derek sighed and got into his car. He was going to ask her to come with him and but she walked away. Why didn't he call after her? Cause she was still with Finn and he was still with Addison.