one shots of merder

chapter 14

set in 3x04/3x05

"So what time do they let us visitors come and visit?" Finn asked as he walked in. Meredith looked up and smiled, trying to focus on Finn and not Derek. She couldn't get his voice out of her head saying he was walking away. "I- Umm... I'm not really sure." Her voice cracked a little and she tried to hide it. Finn noticed and sat on the bed with Meredith. "Meredith? You okay? What's wrong?" He sounded so sweet, and she hated that. She hated it because it made this harder. To pretend she was happy with Finn, when really all she wanted was Derek. "Yeah, I'm okay. I'm just tired. And I need to just.. rest." She said, looking at him. Finn nodded and kissed her forehead. "I'll see you tomorrow, Mer." Meredith smiled and watched as he walked out of the room. Once he was out of her sight, Meredith couldn't help the tears flowing down her face. She didn't want Finn, she wanted Derek. She didn't even know it until he came into her room and said he was walking away. That night, Meredith just stared out her window, tears flowing. She just closed her eyes as a nurse came in to check on her. 

Meredith asked, "What time is it?" As her nurse Tyler wrote down her vitals, he checked his watch. "6:00 AM." He smiled and asked if she needed anything. She shook her head 'no' and Tyler left the room. Meredith stared at her ceiling, waiting for something to come. She thought to herself she better get some sleep before Finn came. She closed her eyes, tossed and turned until finally she felt herself relax a little. Derek walked over to the nurse's station, asking for Meredith Grey's chart. As he looked over her chart, he heard foot steps nearing him. "How is she?" She heard a voice ask outside of her room. She heard shuffling and another voice. "She is recovering well, but I think its best if you came back later, she had a rough night. She just fell asleep and I think you should let her sleep." Derek. Meredith knew his voice so well. And judging by Derek sounding annoyed, Finn was here also. Finn sighed, "Okay. If she wakes up, could you tell her to call me?" Derek nodded, and watched as Finn looked into her room and walked away. Derek took a deep breath. "Derek?" He turned to see Addison behind him. He smiled weakly and walked away. Addison watched him, confused. Why did he walk away saying nothing? Addison peered into Meredith's room, seeing her sleep soundly. 

For the next two days, Meredith slept and talked to Finn when we visited, which was everyday. As she was talking Finn, a nurse knocked on the door. "Alright Meredith, you are offically healed. Your incision looks good and your vitals are all in the normal range. I'm going to have Dr. Bailey sign you out. Then you're free to go!" The nurse placed Meredith's chart on the little table in front of her bed. Meredith smiled as the nurse walked out. She sighed and relaxed into her pillow. "So, do you want me to talk you home? Or do you want to come to my place?" Finn asked as he placed his hand over hers. Meredith looked at him, "I think I better go home. I need to shower and change out of this gown." She laughed a little. Finn smiled and kissed her head. "Okay, I'm going to get something to eat, do you want anything?" Meredith smiled sweetly, hoping he would know what she wanted. "Ice chips, right." Finn chuckled as he walked out of the room. Meredith laughed too, stopping abruptly as she saw Derek's back. He was leaning against the nurse's station. 

"Dr. Shepherd?" Meredith called out to him. Derek turned around, and looked to where the voice came from. He smiled, and walked towards her room. He stopped at the door, "Yes?" Meredith but her lip, trying not to smile at the way Derek was leaning against the door. "Do you know when Dr. Bailey is coming to sign me out?"Derek sighed and walked towards a nurse. Meredith watched as he asked, watching his every move. Derek nodded and walked back to Meredith, "She'll be here shortly." Before Meredith could thank him, Derek nodded and walked away. She didn't think he would act like this. 

X X X 

As Derek signed the divorce paper's, Addison's voice cut him off. "Wait, what's happening?" She asked, confused as to why Derek gave her everything and he kept nothing for himself. "I am the reason we are getting the divorce. Let me do this." Derek said as he finished signing his name. Addison rolled her eyes, "This couldn't wait a couple more days?" She asked, as Derek slid over the paper to her. Dereks sighed again, "No, it couldn't. I'm sorry, Addison. Excuse me." Derek stood up and left the room, leaving Addison dumbfounded. 

Meredith walked down the stairs of the hospital as she bumped into Derek. "You're back?" He asked as he looked up to her. She nodded. "You look good... without an appendix." Derek said as he slowly looked up to see Meredith biting her lower lip. Hard. "How are you?" She asked as she stared into his eyes. "I'm good." As Derek was going to ask about Finn, Meredith's pager rang. "That's your wife. I'm on her service." Derek hummed, "I won't stand in your way." he said as he walked around Meredith. As the day went on, Meredith found out Derek had finalized his divorce that morning. And she was still with Finn. As she made her way to her car at the end of the day, she thought about Derek. And the night of the prom. And her panties on the bulletin board. Had that not been Derek? Had it been Addison? How did Derek even have them in the first place- Oh. She thought. He took them, of course he did. It's Derek. She started her car, thinking about how she hadn't even had sex with Finn and was still with him. She recalled Cristina telling her to end it with him. 

Meredith pulled into small parking lot of Finn's veterinary. She had thought about it on the way from the hospital. She took a deep breath and sighed. She couldn't do it. Meredith pilled out and drove home instead, texting Finn she was tired and was going to stay at her house. The next day came, and Meredith hadn't received a morning text from Finn as she always did. She brushed it off and got ready for work. As she walked in, she saw Derek talking to Dr. Burke. As Meredith changed into her scrubs, she couldn't get Derek off of her mind. It was like he was burned into her brain. Meredith scrubbed in on a hernia repair and a liver transplant. She made her way to the cafeteria, grabbing some lunch and was looking for her friends until she collided with a strong body. "Oh my god, I'm sorry-" She stopped as she stared into those blue eyes that made her heart skip a beat. "Mer, it's okay." Derek said, collecting the things that dropped and placed them back on the tray. She was about to say something until a voice interrupted her. "Meredith?" Finn asked, as she turned around to come face to face with him. Meredith smiled at him, weakly. "Finn. Hi, umm. Can we talk?" She asked as she motioned to follow her. Finn sighed, "No, Meredith. We can't." Mereidth turned to Finn, confused. 

Finn leaned into her ear, so only she could hear. "I know." Meredith looked at him, very confused as to what he was referring to. Finn rolled his eyes, "I know you had sex with Derek during the hospital prom, Mer." Meredith's eyes widened as she heard Finn. She looked around, everyone was looking at them. "Finn, can we talk about this somewhere else?" She asked, pleading. She grabbed his hand, but he pulled away. "No. I can't. I can't do it Meredith. I can't do this, with you." Finn said harshly, he shook his head and he stood up and left without another word. Meredith just sat there, confused and shocked about what had just happened. She heard a faint voice, "Mer, are you okay?" Meredith quickly stood up and ran to the nearest empty room she could find. She slammed the door shut to a supply closet and tried to take deep breaths. But she couldn't control herself. 

Derek was standing next to a medicine cart, as he saw Meredith run past him. He looked at her confused and watched as she slammed the door of a supply closet. He close the cart and made his way to Meredith. As he opened the door, he saw a similar sight. He had comforted Meredith as she was having a panic attack about her mother dying alone. Derek closed the door and sat next to Meredith. He didn't hesitate to hug her instantly. He remembered from the last time, as she took his hand and she relaxed instantly. Meredith was shaking, and Derek tried his best to sooth her. "Meredith, breathe. Please. Take a moment to breathe." He said as he rubbed his hand up and down her arm. She couldn't stop. Derek did the only other thing he could think of. He gently took her face in his hands and kissed her. Meredith released a soft gasp as she felt this lips on hers. She sighed into him, running her hands up to his neck and into his hair. Derek leaned back and pressed his forehead to hers. "Thank you." Meredith said in a low voice, clearing her throat as she leaned away from his touch. Derek sighed, "No problem." 

Author's note: Please tell me what you want to read next! I love you xoxo