Secrets Surfacing {Spencer Reid}

12. Clear conscious

"The first step towards getting somewhere is to decide you're not going to stay where you are."- J.P. Morgan

I woke up to my beeping monitor and stirred around until a hand landed on my shoulder. "hey." I recognized the voice as Spencer's. "they fixed your leg in surgery and you get to go home in a few days." he smiled. "the train... who survived?" his face immediately fell and he started brushing his thumb against my hand. 

a few days passed and I was discharged from the hospital. I had nightmares the first few nights and I woke up screaming and sweating. it was the most embarrassing thing ever. Spencer insisted on helping me do everything and well, I couldn't really say no. before I left to go home, I asked him to make one stop. he helped me walk to the nurses station. "is there a patient here with the first name George? he would've came with the train crash victims." she started typing in her computer and I impatiently waited. 

"yes there was, I'm afraid he's down in the morgue." my whole world shattered. "no...no no" I shook my head and Spencer's grip tightened. "its okay." he pulled me into a hug. "I want to see. I have to or else I won't really know." Spencer thought it would've been a bad idea but he knew the minute he let me go, I was making a beeline to the morgue. "ok let's go." we both made our way down to the morgue and asked for George again. I walked into the cold room and saw his body presumably draped under the white sheet. an assistant walked over and uncovered the person's face. low and behold, it was George. 

I tried to fall to my knees but Spencer caught me and held me up. "that's him." I sobbed. "the way his body was positioned on the train, it looked like he was lunging forward." she explained. "oh my god." I exhaled. Spencer looked down with a confused look. "he was trying to protect me." the assistant nodded and I cried even harder. Spencer tightly hugged me and I cried into his shoulder. he reassuringly whispered to me, unsure if I was actually listening or not. a few minutes later he pulled away and took me home. I was silent the whole way. it wasn't fair. 

that complete stranger tried to save my life, someone who I had a brief conversation with wanted to do that. I looked out the window and saw cars passing by. he unlocked the apartment door and lead me to the bed. I laid on my back and shifted to lay on my left side, wanting to face away from Spencer. he climbed in shortly after and I felt his hands slowly wrap around my waist, careful of my right leg. he inched closer and I started crying again. he stroked my hair and whispered to me again until I fell asleep. this time, without nightmares. 

~~~

I recovered quickly from the crash incident. therapy was rocky in the beginning but it helped in the long run. my nightmares stopped and I returned to work right as a new case was presented. this unsub was groping and eventually killing women in public transits who oddly, had an eerily similar resemblance to me. I brushed my creeping suspicion away and Garcia continued with the debriefing. she mentioned what state he started in and how he moved to Virginia shortly after. she also said there was a pod footage of the unsub. the she hit play and I saw the unsub, everything connected. "oh my god." the team looked over and knitted their eyebrows. "that's the guy, that was the creepy guy who asked to sit next to me on the train." I took a shaky breath and brought my hand to my heart, feeling it rapidly beating. 

Spencer protectively wrapped an arm around my waist and brought me closer into a side hug. "is that the one you told me about, the one you saved?" he whispered. I nodded against him. "do you think it's possible I'm the cause of this?" I asked and the team looked up.  "I saved the guy and h-he goes out killing people!" I signed and drove my hand to my temple. Spencer started rubbing his hand soothingly on my hip. I slowly exhaled before fixing the band of my watch on my wrist and walked out of the room. 

I went outside to the crisp air and tried to steady my breathing. when I opened my eyes they landed on a hooded figure across the street. my heart dropped and before I knew it he quickly caught up to me and struck a gun across my head. between my blurry vision, I saw the man I saved from the train with a growing devilish smirk standing above me.