Chapter 17

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Seonghwa was leaning against the wall of Hongjoong's room while Hongjoong sat on the bed across from him. Seonghwa was taken back by Hongjoong's words, "What are you talking about?" he asked trying his best to keep his voice calm. Hongjoong chuckled bitterly, "you know what I am talking about. You told me when we first met that you had someone you loved, someone you care about more than anything in the world but you had to leave them. That person is San isn't it" Hongjoong spoke once again. Seonghwa shook his head, "where did you even get that idea from" he took a step forward towards Hongjoong kneeling down till he was eye level with the male, holding his boyfriends hands. Hongjoong scoffed pulling his hands away from Seonghwa, "I saw how you looked at him while you danced, I saw how he looked at you. Ever since San joined our crew you have been acting different, I had my suspicions since you went to look for him that day at Port Moore" Hongjoong explained his tone becoming bitter and angry.

Seonghwa sighed, "babe, you know I went after San because I was worried about him, just like we all were, if it was you or anyone else on the crew I would-" "He has the same bracelet as you, the same seashell bracelet I saw you wearing when we first met, the same bracelet you said your mom made you" Hongjoong cut Seonghwa off his eyes burning into the blondes. Seonghwa was silent at that, he looked away biting his bottom lip. "Just be honest with me Hwa, please..." Hongjoong's voice was desperate as it wavered. Seonghwa looked at Hongjoong, his heart clenching in pain when he saw the male was holding back tears. Seonghwa has rarely seen Hongjoong cry. "San is...San is my childhood friend, and for many years he was all I had, he was there for me when my father died, and when I had to leave him it was probably the most painful thing I have had to do. I lied about the bracelet, it was a gift San gave to me for one of my birthdays and it represents our friendship, but I think as time went on it represented something else..." Seonghwa told Hongjoong.

For a while Hongjoong sat in silence looking down at his hands as he took everything in. "Baby?" Seonghwa asked softly, reaching his hands up to cup Hongjoong's face. Hongjoong looked at Seonghwa, his eyes stinging with unshed tears, "Let me ask you this, If...If you had a chance to be with San, would you?" Hongjoong knew asking the question would hurt him but he had to know. Even though Seonghwa never told Hongjoong, San's name. He did tell Hongjoong about how much he meant to him, and how close they were. Seonghwa looked at Hongjoong his widening in shock at his question. Seonghwa knew he should say no, he knew he should pulling Hongjoong into a hug and tell him that he only wants him and that his feelings for San was just stupid teen love, but Seonghwa knew he couldn't. Seonghwa knew that lying to himself and forcing his memories and feelings of San away only seemed to hurt people. When Seonghwa didn't answer Hongjoong already knew what he chose, "I see.." he muttered, pulling away from Seonghwa's touch, wiping the few tears that fell down his cheeks.

"I'm tired, and I have to wake up early in the morning" Hongjoong said his voice cold as he crawled further into bed. "Hongjoong..." Seonghwa called out, reaching out to Hongjoong, but the male shook his head. "I need time to think...please leave me alone" he muttered. Seonghwa looked at Hongjoong as tears began to fall down his face but he nodded standing up and walking over to the door, Seonghwa took one last glance at Hongjoong and left the room, not realizing that certain brunette navigator had heard everything and was in his own room trying to ignore the painful clench of his heart as he laid in bed. "So, the person San was talking about in the infirmary was Seonghwa..." Yeosang spoke to himself looking at the ceiling as a short sigh left his lips. Seonghwa made it to his room, going over to his shelf grabbing a box that he put at the very top. The blonde sat on his bed as he opened it looking at the contents. Inside were various pictures of him and San throughout their childhood. Underneath the pictures was the bracelet that San had made for him. Seonghwa picked it up running his fingers over the seashells ,a soft smile on his face as he remembered when San gave it to him. Seonghwa didn't even realize he was crying until a teardrop fell onto one of the shells.

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