What Might've Been (Cricky)

You Got Me A WHAT?!?!

I woke up the next morning, surprised that it was before the sun. I never get up this early. Despite that, my body rejected any more sleep, so I got out of bed, dressed myself, and went to have breakfast for the first time in years. Even at this odd hour of five in the morning though, there was a knock on my door. I didn't answer it, figuring that it was the wrong address. It was five in the morning. I cannot stress that point enough. It.  Was. Five. In. The. Morning. 

Nonetheless, my visitor was persistent. I opened the door to find a very, very, very drunk TJ with a set of keys in this hand. He practically fell into my apartment with a green bottle of some unnamed beer to his lips. He grinned as he looked at me. "I gotcha a pressssssent." He dangled the keys in my face. 

"You did what?" I asked, not understanding. 

"There'sa car out 'ere with your name on it." He smiled as he pressed the keys to my chest. "I sold your other one. Hopeyou'renotmad." He collapsed on my couch. 

"You did what?!" I was livid. "You sold my motherfucking car!!" I hit him over the head with a throw pillow, causing him to drop his bottle and spill it all over himself, my couch, and the floor.

"I gotcha a Ferrari." He grinned again, looking so proud of himself. 

"No." I shook my head. "You're too drunk to know that." Little did I know just what kind of fraud TJ had done to get me an actual, real, legitimate, genuine Ferrari in bright red. I'm serious. I cannot stress that point enough either. He. Bought. Me. A. Ferrari. Later, though, I would learn just what he'd done to get it. I'd want to return it, but enjoy my joyride too much to give it up. 

And then I'd get into a shit-ton of legal trouble in two years, lose the car, and never get another like it ever again. 

So when I walked outside to take TJ back home at five in the fucking morning, my jaw dropped when I saw a bright red Ferrari sitting in the parking lot. In my hand, I held the keys to it. When I started it, I saw that it was a stick shift. Thank God my parents owned one and made me learn how to drive it. But this one was nothing like our family car. It was rather touchy. Drunk TJ was of no help, being even more of a flirty pain in the ass than usual. "Do you wanna see if your hand fits in mind? " He slurred his words together. 

"Nope." I had just started to get the hang of driving this car. It was really nice once it got going. I couldn't wait to rub this one in everyone's face. "How was my other car worth this much? " I wondered allowed. 

"Tell ya later. " TJ sank deep into his seat. 

Later that same day, when I'd taken TJ back to the house, he forced me to stay. Everyone was awake at this point. He regailed us with the most ridiculous tale I'd ever heard. "I can forge signatures. So, I pretended that Ozzy had signed your car. Of course, to the dealer it was my car. I told him that the it was the very Saturn he'd driven once. The dealer was such a sucker be believed every word. " 

"So if it was Ozzy's car, how did you gain possession of it? " I asked. 

"I said that he and my father were great friends. That is until he found out that Ozzy had hooked up with my mother. " He twiddled his thumbs. "I received the car before my father and Ozzy drifted apart. It's been mine ever since, and since my wife hates Black Sabbath, I was forced to sell it. He talked me into a trade in, or at least he thinks he did, and I complied. " He made a gesture with his arms. "And here we are, hours later. " 

"So lemme get this straight, " Angelo started. "Your mother banged Ozzy Osbourne, the Prince of fucking Darkness himself, your father was his best friend, and you got the fucking car? " 

"Yep." I was surprised at how well TJ could tell the story totally wasted. "Now if you'll excuse me. " He leaned back and passed out on the couch. 

"You should give the car back, " Chris told me. "When they find out that TJ's committed fraud, you'll be in deep trouble. " 

I remembered how nice the car had felt when I was driving it. I really didn't want to give it up. "That's a risk I'm willing to take, " I said. 

It was in that day that TJ gained my full and total attention, and he's had it ever since.