Him and I

Chapter 12 - In or Out

I didn't want to but I felt like I had no choice. I called in sick today and managed to rearrange my appointments with a friend of mine who was also a licensed therapist. It took a bit of convincing after all she had her own clients to deal with but eventually she agreed something I will be forever grateful for. The whole experience got me thinking that I needed to hire another therapist in my office, maybe more than one. Ever since getting caught up with Ambrose and the Shield my mind hasn't been focused on my clients or my career, it wasn't fair to them. Plus I could really use more days for just myself, mental health days.

I was sitting at my kitchen table staring at a blank word document on my laptop. I had reports to catch up and studies to write up but I had nothing. My mind was blank, I couldn't think straight. Throwing my head back I stared up to the ceiling, rubbing my eyes. I wanted to scream, I wanted to go back to a time when my life was simple. Where all I had to do was wake up, go to work and go home again but no, no I get thrown into a life where I have a psychopath is chasing me. I was broken from my thoughts by a knock on my door. Standing to my feet I stretched my back before walking towards the door, it was probably Amelie checking up on me something she has been doing non stop since I got attacked by Ian.

"How many times, I am fine." I sighed lazily as I throw my door open.

"Nice of you to let me know" The voice of Ambrose entered my ears. Immediately my eyes snapped to his, the blue eyes sparkling at me while the smile continuously grew on his lips. "I dropped by your office, it was closed. Not like you." He tells me pushing his way through the door and into my home like he owned the place.

"Come on in why don't you."

"Thank you. I don't know if you do house calls but I thought I'd give it a shot."

"You're not my client anymore Mr Ambrose I told you this." I sigh pushing the door closed with my eyes closed. I was silently hoping that this wasn't happen but I knew I wasn't lucky enough for that to happen either.

"Eh I'm not a very good listener." He stated throwing himself down on my couch, he threw one of his arms of the arm and the other over the back of the couch staring at me as I stood in front of him unsure of what to say or what to do. "You can sit down you know, this is your house."

"I'm aware of that thank you." I tell him walking towards the other chair in the room and taking a seat.

"Scared to sit next to me huh?"

"Not at all, I am just more comfortable here. I sit here all the time."

"Is that why your phone is here?" He asked holding up my cell phone in his left hand, that cocky smirk on his face.

"Give me that." I tell him reaching forward for my phone only for him to pull it back. His eyes immediately going towards my injured hand, I noticed almost instantly his eyes soften, almost as if he was concerned before they became dark, almost black.

"I'll kill the bastard." He growled lowly throwing my phone on the other side of the couch and standing to his feet. He started towards the door but I jumped up running in front of him putting my hands on his up and resting them against his solid chest.

"Don't please." I managed to squeak out. He looked between my eyes and the hands on his chest, his breathing was harsh. He was acting like a daddy bear protecting his family. It amazed me how he knew what happened simply just by looking at my hand. "Please" I sighed one last time. I expected some kind of smart, sarcastic response but instead. He wrapped his right hand into my hair, pulling my head back roughly before his lips were attacking mine.

The kiss was rough and passionate, I felt my knees go falter and go weak. Ambrose noticed as he wrapped his left hand around my waist pulling me into him, our crotches practically rubbing against one another. Although my eyes were closed I felt them roll in pure ecstasy as he pushed me back against a wall in my living room for additional support. Once I was securely pressed between the wall and his body his hands began to wander along my waistline drawing small circles on my stomach before slowly working his way up to my chest, massaging my breasts. I pulled away from his lips, a deep moan escaping my lips as his hands worked his magic. I felt the heat pool in between my legs as I threw my head against the wall in pure bliss. Once I pulled away from his lips, Ambrose attacked my neck, licking, kissing and biting all over it. I couldn't think straight but all I knew was that I wanted this. I wanted him.

Reaching my hand up his chest I moved it towards the back of his head, gripping at his hair and pulling his lips from my neck. We shared a deep look of want and passion before I pulled his head back down towards my lips, this time attacking him. I heard a deep growl escape his throat as his hands worked their way down to my ass, hoisting me up so that my legs wrapped around his waist causing a small gap between us and the wall. Ambrose noticed this so he used his body weight to slam my back against the wall, pulling away from him I realised an ear piercing moan as I squeezed my eyes shut, this was getting too much.

"Bedroom now" I breathed out, slowly opening my eyes to look into his, his blue eyes were filled with nothing but want and lust, there was a cheeky glint in them that made me want to jump him right here and now. The smirk on his face continued to grow as the words settled into his head, he knew he had me and for the first time since meeting him, I was okay with that.

"Are you sure about that Angel?" Ambrose smirked running his tongue over his lips. I pushed against him slightly creating some space as I removed myself from him. For a split second, the doubt entered my head that I shouldn't be doing this but the want was much, much stronger. Shaking that thought from my head I walked towards my bedroom, slowly lifting the hem of t-shirt and lifting it over my head leaving me just in my red lace bra. I turned to look over my shoulder, a flirtatious look on my face as I stare at him. He tilted his head slightly before shaking it off and rolling his neck, a dangerous glint in his eyes.

"You coming?" I ask taking my bottom lip in between my teeth before walking towards my bedroom.

**********************

I was laying in my bed, the duvet was up around me chest as I stared at the ceiling above me. I was conflicted, unbelievably conflicted. Part of me felt guilty, felt ashamed for giving into my desires and having sex with Ambrose. But the other part, the other part of me felt exhilarated, felt alive, felt free. I had tingling sensations throughout my body, the sex was better than anything I could have ever imagined. He was unbelievably talented in that area, it was rough. I knew I had marks all over my body, bruises, bite marks, scratches and I didn't care. They excited me. It excited me to the part where I knew I wanted to experience this more. Was I insane? My thoughts were broken by the sound of a lighter clicking, I looked over to my left and noticed Ambrose lighting up a cigarette and taking a puff.

"Those things will kill you." I tell him before registering what it was I was saying. I scrunched my nose up, annoyed with myself for saying. Ambrose just looked over at me, a genuine smile on his face before he let out a life.

"Yeah I have bigger problems than this trying to kill me."

"Doesn't that scare you?" I asked turning on my side to look at him. I don't know why I asked that but I would be lying if I said I wasn't fascinated with mobsters, criminals. Like what goes on inside their head, what makes them do what they do and why? Ambrose looked over at me, softness in his eyes as he squinted his eyes almost as if he was trying to work out if I was generally interested in the answer.

"No" He replied after a few moments. I stared at him for a few moments before rolling back onto my back to look at the ceiling. I didn't know what to say, I didn't know what to do at this moment. The only sound filling the room was the sound of breathing and Ambrose inhaling and exhaling the cigarette. After a few moments silence the sound was broken by my phone ringing, I slowly got out of bed grabbing my pyjama shirt from the floor and putting that on before walking into my living room and grabbing me phone. It was Matthew. I let the phone ring out, biting my lip the guilt washing over me, I was suppose to met him for lunch today and I completely blew him off to have sex with one of America's most wanted. I rubbed my head with my hand, thinking of some kind of excuse I could use to get out of it but nothing came to me. I felt a buzz in my hand; slowly I looked down at the light up screen and the text from Matthew.

I don't know if you are interested or not but I can't keep doing this. You are either in or out.