5 - Sugar

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It's been two days since I saw my parents and Tammy and I haven't been able to find a proper way to tell his mom about her grandchild. 

For the months we were dating, Nicole was nothing but nice to me, but once Justin left there was no reason for her to contact me, let alone the fact that I'm not even sure what she was told.

For all, she knows we just broke up then he left. I know I have to tell her about the baby, but I don't want him to know, no matter how selfish it seems. 

In my eyes, he chose his job over me and our relationship and I'm not going to go search him out if he so clearly didn't want to be here. 

This might be my way of rationalizing things to make me feel better about my decisions but I'm sticking with it. 

As I get ready for the day in my bathroom I contemplate the different ways I could try and tell Nicole. 

I could go old school and write her a letter or email, the only issue is I would probably end up bashing her son instead of getting to the point. 

I could call but that seems too awkward for my own liking, what would I even say 'hey I haven't seen you since your son dumped me in a letter but I'm having his baby surprise'. I don't know it seems too honest for a phone call. 

I sigh and look at myself in the bathroom mirror, I've gained some weight in my face over the past few months but I can't really complain, I'm just glad the pregnancy hasn't made my hair fall out or something. 

My hair is still a little damp from my shower, so I brush it up into a bun hoping it'll lay flat while I run some errands. Just in case I tie a headscarf around my head while I go change into some navy blue cotton shorts and a plain white t-shirt. 

I've gotten to a point where I'm dressing for comfort rather than style like I did before the pregnancy. I couldn't care less what people are thinking, plus who in their right mind would tell a pregnant lady they look bad. 

Someone with a death wish probably. 

I lock my apartment and head to the front of the building waiting for Tammy to pull up. She somehow managed to convince me to let her drive even though I'm perfectly capable. 

Even though I see her car pull up, she still decides to honk twice and wave me over. I waddle over and once I'm a bit closer she spouts a modified version of one of her favourite lines ever. 

"Get in baby mama we're going grocery shopping." She shoots me a smile and places her sunglasses over her eyes. 

"You really didn't have to do this you know. I am perfectly capable of driving myself to the store." I hop in the car and buckle myself in, though it was less of a hop and more of a very slow lowering myself into the car. 

"I'm sure you are but as long as you're still incubating my godchild, I'm going to do everything I can for you." She starts playing around with the radio before settling on a station playing the top 100. 

"You make it sound like a science project." I scrunch my nose at the thought of a child incubating in me like a chicken egg or something. 

"Listen I could've said worse." Tammy laughs and glances at me, pulling into the grocery store parking lot.

I just laugh as she parks and I grab the disposable bags from her back seat before going to find a cart, Tammy trailing not too far behind. 

She catches up to me as I pull a cart from the others, before passing the sliding doors into the air-conditioned store. I revel in the cool air before pushing the cart towards the produce section, making sure to grab some fruits and vegetables especially the ones I want to experiment with for the bakery. 

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