SasuSaku Fanfic Review

🌸 metamorphosis || short story 🌸

This Fanfic Review was done by blossomXqueen.

The Fanfic is a completed story, titled metamorphosis || SasuSaku Short Story and written by astragazer.

Description: ❝𝐰𝐞 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐠𝐨𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐚 𝐛𝐮𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐟𝐥𝐲 𝐠𝐨𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡 𝐦𝐞𝐭𝐚𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐩𝐡𝐨𝐬𝐢𝐬❞

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A centuries old family curse changes the life of a high school boy when he realized he is turning into a tengu, a supernatural creature said to have wings as black as night.

Awards: Anime's Halloween Night Contest Winner.

Highest Ranking(s): #2 in animecontest.

I hope you enjoy! ('∀')

I will rate this using a 10 out of 10 ranking, and with grammar also taken into account.

Without further ado, let's start!

And of course, spoilers.

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When I first started reading this short story, I was intrigued (and not only by the fact that it's been 4 months since Halloween). SasuSaku + instant horror = greatness. The feature writing is executed nicely and the exchanges between Sasuke and Sakura are not OOC + accurate. The grammar is on-par with minimal edits and the author uses adjectives without overloading the reader.

So on to my critique(s)! UWU. So the only nitpick I'd have about this oneshot/short story is some of the descriptions. For example, "He is not just late for school, it's already two in the afternoon, even if he goes to school there is little less than an hour before class dismissal and so he didn't bother going to school anymore."

It's almost as if the scene is too in-detail. I would advise the usage of the 'show the reader, not tell' more in your writing. So basically, try to use the character's senses to move the story along--rather than outwardly stating "he didn't bother going to school anymore". I would suggest that instead of just revealing that detail(s)--you could try to substitute with more descriptions about the character's environment. Here's my trashy example:

"The ebony clock that hung on the wall struck the 2, both hands in a curvature angle. Sasuke sighed, already aware of the fact that the relative time would not find him in school. Why would he even bother going?"

And on to my fangirling--

I love how you portray Sakura's emotions. Throughout the short story, Sakura is shown to be very emphatic, flaws and all. It makes her and Sasuke's conversations seem all the more authentic! The ending is also perfect, with Sasuke's "thank you" wrapping everything up nicely.

Overall this short story/oneshot is lovely and encompasses the spooky season! Great job! Apologies again to author-senpai for the lateness of this.

Now, the moment everybody's been waiting for....the rating!

🌸🌸🌸
🌸🌸🌸 9/10
🌸🌸🌸

I give this fanfic a 9/10, since the overall AU writing is done well, the plot is kawaii, and the title is quite catchy! My only nitpicky nitpick has to do with some of the scene descriptions.

Hooray! This fanfic gets a 9/10 rating from a serious, SasuSaku fangirl from SasuSakuComm. I used Penguin-chan's format for this rating! ^^

Hope you enjoyed! Keep writing and staying amazing!

May SasuSaku be always in your heart~