room 387. meanie

sincerely, with all my love

Everything had happened so quickly.
Mingyu had not expected Wonwoo to pass away like that.

The next few days were Wonwoo's funeral. Mingyu could only stand there in regret of his last words towards Wonwoo.

"I don't want to look at you."

He'd gotten nightmares from it. Every night, he'd wished to be able to dance with Wonwoo again, but he knew better than to confuse reality with dreams.

The last scene they shared before Mingyu left, was the most regretful one. He'd wish he could wind back time, to undo all his mistakes.

He'd wished he had not let go of Wonwoo's hand. He'd wished he had more patience with the boy. He'd wished he could write more songs for him.

"I'm sorry..." Mingyu could only cry.

"All I wanted was to hear you sing,"

It had been a shock to his parents too when they heard the news. They thought he had gotten better, only for his liver to purge and destroy itself like that.

.

Mingyu was back in the apartment, cleaning out Wonwoo's stuff in his book room.

He had flipped through all the photo books of Wonwoo, back when he was a child. He was smiling so happily when he had his pictures taken.

"I miss you," Mingyu caressed the pictures with the tips of his fingers.

Then, Mingyu found a box, with his name written in top of it. 'For my beloved, Mingyu' it read.

Mingyu opened it up, hands trembling as he lifted the cover.

Inside, it was fully composed songs that Wonwoo had left behind for Mingyu. The lyrics were all there, filled all the way, instead of being empty like Wonwoo had it.

There were letters inside, a recorder was inside too.

'Dear my love,
I know things had not gone the way we planned it to be, but things had happened. And for a reason.

You may feel sorry about me, but I feel more sorry for you. I had not told you about my condition in the first place. I do not know what I was so afraid of; you not wanting me anymore, you not loving me anymore, the thoughts were endless.

I know if I had told you, you would have acted a lot more differently than you did. I didn't want that to happen, I wanted to be treated like a normal human being, with all the hardships too. You would've babied me all the time, I really don't want that. 

You probably have seen through it but, all the while, I had left home, lying to you, telling you that I went to visit my parents. The thing was, I had checkups in the hospital. I didn't want you to worry over me. 

The doctor had said I had gotten better at the start of the treatment, saying that things were looking up for me. However, that was short-lived, my liver had then purged and completely spiraled down to a complete failure. The doctor had told me that it was anytime now.

Without needing you to tell me, I know you wanted to hear me sing ever so desperately. I'm sorry that I couldn't do it in person, I don't think I'm good at anything except for writing. The recorder inside this box is what I have left behind for you to play when I'm no longer here.