(#2) 𝕆𝕓𝕝𝕚𝕧𝕚𝕠𝕟.

Chapter 2 - Sparks.

~Kamsi~

*

Sparks. Been afraid of them since forever and I've been trying to avoid them, too. One minute I'm hating on the world, and the next minute I'm having weird chills that give me goosebumps on my skin. Jeez! What's this? I swear I don't want it. I hate it. Because this is only where the entire situation gets tougher. Run away from sparks. They only hurt at the end. Cause when there's a spark, then there'll be a fire.

*

At exactly four o'clock in the morning, I was already awake. I couldn't sleep, and my head felt like a blurry mess. It also didn't help that I felt scared, because I didn't know what was going to happen. I'd gotten accustomed to the fact that anything could happen in this house. And anyone could be a victim. I was trying to not get scared to my marrows, yet I ended up petrified and utterly shaken by the fear that gripped me.

Undeniably, I knew I couldn't handle the restlessness, and that only sucked out all the sleep out of me. I felt like heading over to Kambili's room, and just sleeping there instead, but I figured that'd come off as me being vulnerable. She'd see that her brother, who's meant to be her shield, was nothing more than a scared, insecure teenager. I didn't want her to see me that way. Not a chance.

But although I didn't want her to see me as such an incompetent brother, that was who I truly was. Quite frankly, it's a big shame on my part; but I just didn't know how to change that truth. And after tossing and turning on my bed, with no sign of sleep forthcoming, I angrily got out of bed and walked towards my window.

I sighed.

The night was chilly and calm. The breeze felt like a light peck on my skin, and I loved how less tensed the atmosphere was. I wanted to simply stare out my window, in the hope of actually getting sleepy at the end. But, that didn't happen. As I kept staring out the window, I just couldn't believe how far off everything was becoming in my eyes. Everything happened so fast.

In only a space of a few, unbearable months, things changed quite drastically. It was true that I have always had an unspoken enmity with my father, after my mother's death, but it was well-hidden. Right here, in my heart. Sure, there were days I used to find him really repulsive and was really disgusted by him, but that never even led me to ever lay a finger on him. Instead, I put up an act. It was already enough that I was also so cold towards everyone, and I guessed my heart was frozen with heartaches and sadness, that I just couldn't create a scene by bringing up the truth about my mother's death. Maybe that was why this family survived that long, before the mishaps began to occur.

Maybe it was cause of my intended ignorance, and feigned nonchalance, that made I and my father survive under one roof for that long. Although, months back, all I did was greet him when necessary and that was it. I'd even pretend to care about some things he said. I was basically tolerating him.

But then, everything changed so suddenly. Then came Alisa, and then came havoc as well. Not only did Alisa's arrival awake certain emotions I'd murdered over the past few years, but it also began to disperse the smoke of lies and deceit in our family. Those many lies, which had been so hidden all so perfectly, were slowly beginning to come out in the open.

It made me fear that all I had believed, was a total, well-built lie. And that was when I started doing something I stopped doing a long time ago, before that. I started asking questions again. Although, most of the questions seemed rhetorical and I never got answers to most of them. Still, that didn't make me stop asking those questions. Because there came a time when I felt like everything that held my family together, was built up on the foundation of pretence and secrets. I only wished I knew what those secrets were.