room 387. meanie

found you

He was still happy nonetheless, he was at least still grateful for being able to step foot into this world, even if he was sick in this life.

'How great would it be if I had a normal life,' Wonwoo thought to himself. He lived his entire life in darkness, surrounded by the same four walls of his home. 

However, despite the unfortunate things that had happened in his life, there was something he enjoyed doing.

Wonwoo loved reading and writing. He had seemed to be always caught by his parents whenever he always wrote sentimental pieces of his own, but they had never really questioned him about it. He loved writing letters, to whoever, because he believed that no letters deserved to go undelivered. 

He too, had written some letters to his future self, 'of he could even stay for that,' Wonwoo doubted himself.

Wonwoo pulled the retractable hospital table over his bed as he rummaged the drawers for pieces of paper and a pen. He had lit the working space of his with a few candles placed by his bedside. He stared at the empty sheets of paper as he brainstormed, but nothing came to mind. 

Until, he decided to write a letter, to someone he could trust in the future. Someone special enough that Wonwoo would feel safe if he were to entrust his life with. He gripped onto his pen tightly as his eyes remain on the blank pieces of paper still. His hand trembled in fear, from not knowing what to express in that letter, but when he did, his hand did not stop working, filling the once empty sheets of paper, full from the top, all the way to the bottom, front and back inclusive.

It was funny to Wonwoo that he was even able to write that much since he knew he lacked the experience. It even shocked Wonwoo to even read what he had wrote in the letter. The heartfelt emotions put into words as they wait patiently to be delivered to their respective receiver. 

Wonwoo hoped that they would feel what Wonwoo had been wanting to express with the well-written words of his and it would reach their hearts.

Wonwoo placed his writing utensil down and blew out the candles as he hopped out of his bed, Sometimes he had hoped for his paresthesia to spread to his feet too. The floor had always been his least favorite part of the hospital. They were always stone cold, as if Wonwoo was walking on thick ice itself.

He would tour around the hospital at ungodly hours from time to time and find comfort in them. The echoes of his footsteps along the poorly lit hallways, the cold feet he would always get. How the air conditioning would always be on full blast as they ruffled Wonwoo's hair, was something he loved. 

Loved, because it was something he was unable to feel.

His thoughts wandered as he allowed his feet to bring him wherever, they occupied this mind with thoughts of what life would've been like if he hadn't had his sickness.

'What if when I get a donor, is the day my liver gives up on me?' Wonwoo thought.

'Will I ever be able to find someone who I could fall in love with?'

'Who would show up for my funeral then? Probably not. It isn't like I had much people around me growing up either...'

'What would happen to mother and father when I'm gone? They'll be very lonely then...' Wonwoo brought a hand under his chin as he continued to think.