She's a Fighter// a Greys Anatomy FF

Insecure

"What are you doing?"
"Changing?"
"In the bathroom?"
"Yes."
"Why can't you change out here?"

Meredith looked down.
"Mer?"
"Because. I'm..fat."
"Is that the only reason?"
"Yes."
"Mer, if you're going to lie to me, then you can at least look at me."
"I'm not lying."
"Mer..come here."

She hesitantly walked over to her husband.
"Look at me."
She looked up into his blue, sincere eyes.
"You are beautiful. You aren't fat. And even if you were, I would still love you. And you would still be beautiful. Because you are Meredith. You are so strong, Mer."
"Whatever." Meredith mumbled.
"Meredith."

He looked at her tear-filled eyes.
"I'm going to take your shirt off, okay?"
"Derek-."
"Meredith."
"Ok."

He gently lifted Mer's shirt. She almost immediately covered herself with her arms.
"Meredith."
"I-I." She said as tears were streaming down her face.

"It's ok." He stepped towards her, only to her stepping back.

She backed into a corner, and slid down to the floor.

Derek blinked to keep the tears welling in his eyes from falling. She just sat there and sobbed.

He heard Lexie start waking up and hesitantly went out to get her.

When he came back to the room, he sat outside. It was so quiet except for the muffled sound of Meredith's sobs. His heart was shattered.

"H-hey ba-baby." Meredith whispered, still sobbing, to her baby.

"Y- your da-daddy I-is a g-g-good p-person."
Meredith said that, only to be gifted of harder sobs. Derek couldn't stand it anymore. He went downstairs to call Callie.

"Hey Derek."
"She won't stop."
"Hold on. I'm assuming you mean Meredith?"
"Yes."
"What happened?"
"She just keeps crying. I don't know what to do. I want to help. It's only been a few minutes but it feels like hours."
"What is she crying over?"
"She has been putting herself down all week. She was going to the bathroom to change. She doesn't even change in front of me, Callie!"
"I can't come over, I'm on call. Do you want me to send someone?"
"Uhh yeah. Send Alex."
"Ok."

He went back upstairs, hearing Meredith cry was terrible. He felt useless. He heard her cry even more. He walked in, and tried to talk to her.
"Mer. It's ok."
No matter what he said, she still sobbed.
"Meredith. Is there anything I can do?"

As soon as he said that, a knock came from the front door. He went to answer, and gave Alex a sympathetic look. Getting the same expression back.
"She's in the bedroom."
Alex slowly peeked through the bedroom door and walked in.
"Hi Mer."
When Meredith didn't look up, he went and sat in front of her.

He pulled her head up. His eyes went wide and then went a little sympathetic and teary at what he saw.

Her eyes were blood shot. She had been crying so much. He immediately grabbed tissues and handed them to her. She looked back down, and refused the tissues. Alex grabbed her chin gently, and wiped her tears.

Meredith was still covering herself with her arms.

Meredith didn't slow down. Her tears kept falling. She started to hyperventilate and gasp for air.

Derek peeked through the door, he had Lexie in his arms. Alex motioned for him to come over.

"Mer. Breathe. You're ok." Derek said.
Alex was saying the same things. After a bit, her breathing was mostly normal. She was still crying, but wasn't sobbing.

"C-can y-you gra-b th- that b blank-ket?" Meredith mumbled.
Derek grabbed the throw off of the bed, and handed it to her. She wrapped herself up in it, and headed to the bathroom. Derek and Alex shared an empathetic look, and waited for her to come back out. She came out with a hoodie and sweats on.

Alex hugged her and said goodbye, he said bye to Lexie and Derek, then left.
"I'm sorry."
"For what, Mer?"
"Being annoying."
"You weren't annoying. Your emotions aren't easily controlled right now. I don't know what you are going through. But I can try to understand, Mer."
"I just.."
Derek looked at her and gave had a small smile.
"I feel..worthless."
"Go on?"
"I feel ugly and worthless. I'm getting fatter every day. I am an emotional wreck. I don't mean to make you upset, Der. I just have so many scars on me from the attack. I also have stretch marks. I just don't feel pretty or enough. I feel like I'm just there."
"Meredith. I love you so much. You are way more than enough. You are beautiful- no. More than beautiful. And you didn't make me upset. I just want to help you. And you aren't fat, Meredith. You are having a baby. And it will be amazing, just like you."
"Thank you."
"It's ok. But Mer?"
"Yeah?"
"Please don't ever think that I'm going to judge you."
"Ok."
"Ok."

To be continued.....