Me Llamo Tokio (My Name Is Tokyo) - A Money Heist Prequel

Chapter 51 - Motherly Feelings

I'm still trying to calm myself, several minutes after the surprise encounter with my painful past. For some it might've appeared as something normal and, probably, it wouldn't have affected them, but I guess I'm not strong enough yet.
I'm sitting in the car with Juan who's holding my hand, caressing it with his thumb, trying to help me calm down. But, I don't think it'll be that easy.
The apparently insignificant meeting made all my wounds suddenly bleed. Even some past memories that I believed were deeply buried inside my soul, succeeded to get out and haunt me.
It's funny when you think that a thirty years old woman who's robbing stores and stealing art is afraid of her mother, but this is the truth. A sad truth, indeed, but before becoming a robber, I was once a helpless child abused by this person who birthed me. The beatings, the insults and the traumas that she left on me can't be compared to anything that I've lived in my thief career.
Back then, when I was a kid I couldn't oppose her. I guess this thing is reflected in my behavior even now as I talked to her as normally as possible instead of telling her what a bitch she was and run.
"Silene?" Juan says a bit concerned. "I want you to be okay. Please, just tell me how can I help you."
Ever since we got out of the hotel and I quickly told him what happened, all he did was tried to make me feel better. At some point, I started to feel even worse because I couldn't calm and, probably, I was transmitting my state to him too.
"Juan, I'm fine." I lie. "I'm okay, nothing happened."
"Then why are your legs shaking?" he asks gently touching my thigh.
"I don't know." I give up. "I'm sorry. I'll be okay."
"Silene, listen to me." he continues while caressing my legs. "She has no power over you. By panicking now you're showing that she can still control you and you only give her satisfaction indirectly."
"I'm trying." I sigh.
He's right about it. The last thing I want to do is give my mother even more power than she had. So, I take a deep breath and try to focus on something else. For example, the fact that I told Juan about my pregnancy.
He hasn't felt affected by it, on the contrary, ever since he heard he looks like he can barely control his joy.
"Oh, here there are! The reason of our waiting!" Juan exclaims indicating me two silhouettes approaching the car. "The prodigal sons."
I laugh. Juan was always making me feel better, but even without him, the two guys are really funny. I'm not sure if they're drunk or just acting, but they hold onto each other half dancing half walking while Rodrigo is laughing out loud. At least some of us had a great time tonight.
"Hi babes!" Rodrigo screams while jumping in, next to us. "How are you?"
"We're good." Juan says trying to make some space for me. "I can see that you got a bit overboard with the alcohol."
"Bullshit!" Rodrigo exclaims. "It was just a bottle."
"Just a bottle?" I say raising an eyebrow.
"To the club!" he tells the Serbian driver, then he turns to me. "Yes, Silene, but that doesn't even matters anymore. Congratulations guys!"
"For what?" Juan asks perplexed.
"Oh, don't act so shy." Rodrigo giggles. "Silene is pregnant we heard it all."
I roll my eyes. Apparently, the night is getting even worse than I thought.
He jumps over Juan and catches me in a tight hug.
"I can't believe I'm gonna be an uncle!" Rodrigo says while kissing my cheeks. "Thank you! I thought I'll never see the day."
I don't know what to reply to this, so I just laugh, while Juan is trying to put him back to his seat.
"You know, Silene, he always seemed the type of guy that will never have a stable relationship, not to talk about kids." Rodrigo continues. "But here it is, finally it's happening!"
"Rodrigo, I don't need the mother in law attitude right now." Juan says in a plain voice.
"Yes, I know, you just met her." he replies. "I'm sorry guys."
I can't believe they had access to our entire conversations and when I thought it won't appear, here it is:
"So, Silene, what are you gonna give Juan after losing the bet?"
"That's not your business." Juan replies.
"Oh, guys, you're so stiff again, you definitely need some sex."
Maybe he's right, but there's a small problem. We haven't had sex after what happened in Rome. I'm not sure if it was like an unwritten non agression pact or something, but Juan kept a decent distance all the nights and proffered only to hold me while sleeping without trying to do anything else.
"Rodrigo, how about you share us a bit from your experiences." I say, but by judging by Juan's look I just did the biggest mistake of my life.
"Well, babe, first of all this is something you won't understand, but..." he changes his voice and now Rodrigo sounds like a diva. "My sex life is amazing. Comparing to yours I'm Niagara Falls while you're the Sahara desert. So, take some notes from here, first of all you have to take care of the dick, I mean..."
At this point I'm not even listening to him anymore. He's playing like a tape in the background thinking that I'm taking notes on how to improve my sexual life. I'm actually looking on the window, fascinated by the flashing lights that are shining around. It's almost impossible for me to see any details of the buildings because of the speed, yet I'm enjoying this ride and the small moment that I have to clear my thoughts.
They all laugh, even the driver, yet I was too spaced out to hear why. I just turn to them and try to fake some amusement, so that I won't make Juan feel bad.
"Are you okay?" he asks.
"Yes, better." and I wasn't lying, the few minutes spent alone while watching the city lights really helped me. "I'm fine now."
"I wanted to ask you if I can go to the club with Rodrigo and Alonso too." he says. "I need to talk with his dad a bit."
"Yes, sure." I say happy that I'll have some more time alone.
"Thank you." he kisses me on the top of my head. "I'll be back to you as soon as possible."
"Don't worry about me, please, just solve your businesses out there."
And for the first time in my life I wasn't curious about what he's going to talk with Rodrigo's father or what are they doing there. I guess I was too preoccupied by what happened to me today to be able to focus on something else. But, in order to be able to get back on track I really have to fix the problems I have with my past and not let them affect me in the future.
The car stops in front of an enormous villa, similar to Juan's house, but even more luxurious. Apparently, it was a private club, regularly visited by Rodrigo's father and the rest of the elite of Madrid.
I'm not even upset that Juan hasn't invited me to come with him, for me it's a relief, but I think that he felt me. The change was quite huge. From the nosy person that I used to be, now I'm weirdly silent and compliant to the entire situation. Obviously that I'll want to meet Rodrigo's dad and even get implied in their heist if possible, but not now, maybe later after I'll figure out a way to order my personal issues.
Juan gets out with the guys, but not before kissing me deeply and whispering how much he loves me.
I'm being left only with the Serbian driver who, luckily is silent.
The street is empty and silent, covered in the dark cloak of the night. The only noise is coming from the club from where, sometimes you can hear the people laughing or clinking their glasses in a toast.
I put my hands on my invisible womb. Deciding to bring a child into this world is something worth celebrating and even if I hate it, maybe I'll have to ask Juan to meet with the guys and hold a sort of dinner party something.
Rodrigo was too excited about it and I guess I was a bit cold to him, but my attitude is coming just from the fact that things are still new to me. So, I'll have to adapt and try to do my best. After all they did for us, Rodrigo and Alonso deserve at least a decent dinner.
The sound of an engine wakes me up from the spiral of thoughts that made me feel like I'm out of this word for a few moments. Then, as fast as it came, the noise stops.
I turn to look at Tatiana getting out of her car. The sound of her high heels hitting the pavement indicates me that she's angrier than I thought.
"Hi, Silene!" she says waving at me.
But I don't get to do anything because she opens the door and jumps in the seat next to me.
"How are you?" Tatiana asks kissing my cheeks. "Are you okay?"
The smell of her perfume hits me. Roses and bergamot, something way too hard for my pregnant senses.
"Yes, I'm fine." I say smiling trying not to think of the new wave of nausea that just hits me. "You?"
"I'm good." she's obviously lying. "I came to see my man."
"Are you two okay?" I ask.
"We'll be or we'll split up." Tatiana replies casually. "But don't worry about me. How are you? Have you took the pill?"
She takes my hands in hers and I'm still shocked by the care this woman always showed me.
"About that..." I'm not even sure how to formulate it. "I decided not to take it."
"So, you're keeping it?" she smiles.
"I think so." I'm trying to seem happy even if I'm still a bit confused.
"Then, congratulations!" she exclaims.
She hugs me without asking anything else and I'm grateful for that. Tatiana was never too intruding and I guess she was functioning on the principle — I don't ask about you and you don't ask about me.
"Tatiana!" Juan says socked in the moment when he opens the door.
"I guess we'll see each other around." Tatiana tells me while getting out of the car. "It was nice seeing you, Silene."
"Andrés is waiting for you." Juan is trying to sound official, but this is quickly followed by a short laugh.
"He can suck my dick." Tatiana replies casually and I have to cover my mouth in an attempt not to laugh. "But, Thank you for telling me, Juan. And congratulations."
She kisses him on the cheeks and then turns to wave at me one more time. I'm still amused by Tatiana as I never heard her talking like that and I'm also wondering what her husband could've done to make her speak such "nice" things about him.
"She'd be very proud of you." I hear her telling Juan. "And so am I too. Please take care of her, okay?"
"Yes, I will." he says looking at me with admiration. "I promise I'll do my best."
"Bring her to the villa, and take a short break, please." Tatiana sounds a bit concerned. "If you decided to keep it she needs to take care of herself too and the lifestyle that you're currently having might affect your child."
"She won't want." Juan laughs nervously. "Silene had it hard she won't see that it's a problem from her point of view."
"At least tell her." she whispers. "But, no matter what, always be attentive to her."
"I will, thank you." he says.
They say goodbye to each other and Juan enters in the car.
He kisses me then he takes my hand in his and tells something in Serbian to our driver.
"Where are we going?" I ask smiling.
"Our night hasn't ended." he grins. "You'll find out soon."
I can't believe that he's the one who's having another surprise for me when, according to our bet, I should be the one doing something for him. But Juan is Juan and no matter how hard I'll try, I'll never be able to give him something as meaningful as all the things he was offering me. So, I just close my eyes, fully embracing the next beautiful memory that's about to begin. I have a feeling that it'll surely remain in my soul among the nicest things that I've ever shared with him.