Better Than Milkshakes, Better Than Boys (girlxgirl)

[31]

It feels like the gang is finally back together again. It has been so long since all of us has done something together, even something simple like have lunch together, due to schedules conflicting or lunchtimes practices or drama meetings.

Senior year has definitely been more hectic than we thought it would be.

This year has definitely filled our days a lot more than we all thought it would, and slowly but surely driven a wedge between us. It couldn't be helped and the change hasn't been malicious; it is merely the combination of unaligned extra curricular schemes tied up with class schedules that don't match up like they did junior year. Senior year has simply just led to an inevitable drift in our group.

I smile as I watch Derek putting the nachos in the centre of the coffee table, Faye and Clay laughing as they carry all the alcohol in from Clay's truck, April's appalling singing carrying through the house as she sets up the music. It's been so long since we all just did something, just us, that this moment feels that much better.

I know that a few others have been invited, Faye asking Devon to come and I know that Derek asked if Raven could be here. I asked Mackenzie, for obvious reasons, and because she's going to be staying over after everyone has gone home. She knows about the quality time we're having as a group for a bit before everyone comes over, but she knows she's coming over than everyone else's plus ones so we can tell everyone about us.

I think it's about time we told people the full extent of our relationship, which I know she's been wanting for us. She's been so patient with me, keeping our feelings a secret from everyone until we're alone, but I know it's draining her. I know she wants to be open with our relationship and she's out and proud and I want to make her happy more than anything in the world.

I'm not just doing it for her, though her feelings did play a large part in finding my own courage. I want to be able to hold her hand or kiss her in front of my closest friends, and it be considered as normal as it was for Clay and I to kiss.

I've asked her to arrive half an hour before everyone else's plus one just so I can tell everyone closest to me. I don't even think Derek knows I like girls so this is going to be quite the shock for him. He's never showed an indifference towards anyone who's gay, so I'm hoping that he'll be okay with it. I even spoke to Clay and asked him if he could guess how Derek would react, and Clay said he'd be nothing but accepting so I'm quite at ease with telling him.

Being with Mackenzie has really allowed me to accept who I am, and defending her against people like Emma has made me realise I am more than capable of ignoring what people say, because I know how I feel and nobody telling me that it's 'not right' or that 'god would disagree' is ever going to change that.

I can't help but smile at myself. I have come so far from the scared little girl who didn't even want to look in the direction of another girl in fear someone thinking that I was looking for a little too long. I am now in a happy relationship with a girl that has broken down some of my walls of fear and allowed me to finally act and feel like myself.

She's allowed me to finally accept that what I feel is completely normal, that there is absolutely nothing wrong with me.

I snap out of my daydreams and make my way into the living room where everyone is set up. April is sat next to Derek who his trying his upmost hardest to flick her nose, and Faye is sat on the floor next to the keg pouring herself a cheap beer, her gaze eyeing up the book I saw she'd snuck into her bag.

"What're you drinking superstar?" Derek smiles to me as I take a seat on the floor besides Fate, letting my head drop onto her shoulder. Clay launches himself onto the beanbag beside Derek and grabs his cup of beer, pouring the whole thing down his throat in one go.