Dear Damon..

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Just a little daydreamin'. This did not reallt happen.

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What was I to you?  A friend? A lover? Someone? 

Now when I think about it, my heart feels weird. Heavy. Not like it used to be, when you held me. Told me lies I foolishly believed.

I wonder what you thought, or how you felt when I walked in and saw you. I knew what you could see. Me. Breaking. Not believeing. Running, shaking. I knew that light in my eyes was switched off in a second. It died in me. The shine you loved and adored.

I know what you remembered. That one beautful, pefect moment. Where you looked me in the eyes and I drowned in yours. In the endless blue. Sinking deeper and deeper, your words my guide.

You told me, you were dfferent. That I wouldn't shatter again, because you wouldn't let it happen.

You told me, you would love me forever. Hold me. Lie to me. Such beautful lies.

You told me, I could live again.

You told me , I could for once, for the very first time, forget the past.

I cried that day. It was the first time I cried. The first time I remember the feeling of wet tears streaming down my face. You didn't see me, I know you wouldn't want to.

For once, I thought it would change. My destiny would change it's path and lead me to you over and over and over again. So I could finally breath freely, dream and dance. Now it's gone. My soul changed. Broke.

I'll be hinding in my shell. 

I don't blame you. I don't deserve it. 

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