Forgetting The Ex

You Want To Experiment

My throat feels dry at the question,"Nikhil..."

"I don't mind if you don't like me Sandy. But please...have the courtesy to respect my feelings. What if,after a while,you decide I'm not the one for you? Can you fathom what that will do to me? All because you don't feel enough for me, because at the end of the day, that's all I am to you,an experiment."

"You're reading into it differently Nikhil",I whisper,biting my lip to prevent myself from crying in a public place.

"No. I'm reading it exactly how it looks like, Sandy",Nikhil looks at me,"All this while, I've been desperate to hear any kind of confession from you. And when you finally said that you like me, I'm really wishing you didn't."

"Nikhil. Liste-"

"No Sandy",the hold on my hand tightens as he intertwines our fingers,"I really do love you. I'm ready to wait for you to feel what I feel for you. But please, don't just look out for yourself."

"I'm scared,Nikhil."

"I really wish I could do something about it. But this battle,you have to fight yourself, Sandy. "

"A lot of couples start off casually dating too, without a label."

Nikhil sighs,shaking his head,"Sandy,I totally get what you are saying. And it makes sense too. I wouldn't have any issue if you straight away mentioned you wanted to date for a while before making things official. But your explanation and thinking is... disturbing. You want to see if we could work out,just check the possibility of us being compatible with each other. Though I don't have a problem with that,I think you shouldn't jump into a relationship when you already think it won't work."

"I didn't say it won't work."

I'm surprised when Nikhil glares at me,"You want things to be casual. You want to check our compatibility before any progression. You think the relationship, whatever it is will not be smooth. Why do you even want to discuss this with me when you find so many loopholes is beyond me,when you clearly think our relationship won't work out."

"I just said why."

"That you like me?",Nikhil smiles,"Sandy,your liking for me is not enough if we're discussing the cons of a hypothetical relationship."

"I'm Sorry. I didn't mean to upset you Nikhil."

"You didn't", Nikhil says,"It's just difficult to hear these words from you."

I blink back tears,"I don't think our relationship won't work out Nikhil. I'm just apprehensive",I say quietly.

"What about?"

"I don't know",I shrug helplessly,"I really do like you",I stress,"It's just... I've been... hurt after Dhruv. I just want to protect myself."

"There's nothing wrong with it, Sandy",he presses his lips,"Can I at least expect exclusivity while we're seeing each other? Or..."

I recoil, blanching,tears making down my face.

"Shit. Sandy. That's not what I meant",Nikhil cups my face, wiping my tears,"You idiot. Why would I think of you that way?"

I sniff,"What else does that mean?"

Nikhil sighs, shifting closer to me,"You said we would be more than friends,but less than lovers, so I just asked if I understood right. The whole, relationship but not exactly a relationship's exclusivity."

"Of course, it's exclusive",I snap,"I don't randomly propose to see other guys."

"Shh. Okay",he nods, wiping another tear,"I didn't mean to hurt you. The question came out wrong."

"It's fine",I nod,"I really like you Nikhil. I'm getting used to the idea of you and me. Just... give me some time,and I'll be there."

My heart somersaults when Nikhil beams at me,"I'll take anything I get with you,Sandy", Nikhil kisses my forehead.

I shake my head,"Don't be so nice",I mumble.

"It's hard not to",Nikhil strokes a finger on my cheek.

"I-"

"It's fine. I think we should just let things go with the flow. It's not going to help us if we plan these things. Let's just...be normal with each other, and  let time decide things?"

"Okay",I nod.

Nikhil distances himself from me, sighing,"I think we should leave now."

I stare at the untouched food.

"Yeah. Sure",I say, frowning when he gives me a tight smile.

Did I actually screw up things before they even started?

Dun Dun Dun.
Quick update,and a longer one.

Do you guys like the chapter?

What do you think?
Lemme know your thoughts?

There's going to be a surprise for you guys in the next chapter.
I hope you guys will like it😬

Was Sandy harsh?

Is Nikhil waiting when there's nothing to hold on to?

Tell me what you think.

Vote, Comment and Share!