Lovesick Witches

Consequently In Love

My thoughts were disrupted when Ethel and Felicity walked past the table I was sitting at. They didn't look at me and I didn't think they even noticed me sitting there. 

"HB doesn't even like Ana," Ethel told Felicity as they walked by with their lunches in their hands. "I should be the one getting special attention from HB. Miss Hardbroom is the best witch I know. Well, aside from myself, of course. So why is she helping Ana? Ana is a terrible witch. Why does Miss Hardbroom even like her?" 

I ducked my head as they continued walking past and left the dining hall so that they didn't spot me sitting there. 

I never thought I would say this, but I couldn't help but agree with Ethel. Why would Hecate ever want to be with me? Why would she even like me? Ethel was so right in saying that I am a terrible witch compared to Hecate. It was still so true that Hecate would never want to be in a long term relationship with me. How could she? A person so incredible like her to ever want to be with me. 

But regardless, I still loved Hecate. And it was, indeed, unrequited love. 

If our relationship lasted until the end of the year, I would be causing heartbreak for not only me, but Hecate too, if she had developed feelings for me during that time. And I couldn't put her through that. Hecate was already broken. My job was to keep her together. Not tear her apart. 

If I let Ethel destroy our relationship, who knew what Ethel could do? She could not only ruin our relationship, but could also cause conflict between Hecate and I. I didn't want that. Being parted from Hecate would be hard enough. I couldn't cope with being on negative terms with her. Ethel was a spiteful person and could cause hatred between Hecate and I by trying to break us apart. 

Both of these situations would end in heartbreak. One of which, possibly causing heartbreak for Hecate. Causing heartbreak for me, either way. It was going to end in heartbreak whatever happened as we would never be able to stay together. So I had to do the thing that would cause the least heartbreak. 

I didn't want either of these options. I didn't want to keep the relationship going and then break up with Hecate at the end of the year when I would leave school. That would be too upsetting for both of us. But I didn't want to sit back and let Ethel ruin our relationship, either. Yes, I was helpless in that situation and wouldn't be able to stop Ethel. But I would hate to let her cause conflict between Hecate and I. 

There was another option. 

I had to protect myself from heartbreak. And I also had to protect Hecate from heartbreak. There was only one way that this could happen. 

Not holding onto our relationship until we were forced to part. And NOT letting Ethel take control. 

I had to take control, myself. 

I didn't want to, but I knew I had to. 

I could never be with Hecate. I would have to move on at some point. But I had to be the person to sort this out. Not Ethel. Not fait. 

I had to break up with Miss Hardbroom. 

At least this way, I wasn't letting Ethel win. I was taking matters in my own hands and doing what needed to be done. 

Waterfalls began to flow, uncontrollably, down my cheeks as I dreaded this. 

I loved Hecate Hardbroom more than anything else in the world. But the thing about love was that when you loved someone, you would do anything for them. Even if that meant torture for you. 

I had to protect myself and I had to protect Hecate. 

I truly longed that Hecate and I could be together, forever. But this wasn't a fairytale. Relationships didn't always end in a happily ever after. 

I loved Hecate from the bottom of my heart. I loved her enough to let her go.