The Devil's Princess

iv.

L O L I T A

He was dead. No matter what I did, I could never escape my past. Maybe my past was who I genuinely mean to be.

Because it was then, I realized I was just who my ex-boyfriend, Giovanni, sculpted me out to be.

A monster.

You can't get away from who you are meant to be.

A note wrote. I found it on the threshold underneath Sahar's apartment door. I grabbed it before she could see.

My heart dropped and toppled on the ground. It felt as if I sucked the air out of my lungs.

Only one person was going through my brain. One person who knew what I was capable of doing, what I have done.

Giovanni.

•••

The next day, Sahar was nowhere in the bed when I woke up, which meant she went to work. I knew she worked two jobs, so she was at her salon.

I needed a job.

I was going to go to the bookstore. Even though I never got informed on whether or not they would give me the job.

I was walking on the street of the small town, noticing a small cafe. The delicious smell of coffee hot my nose.

I dropped my gaze to the cement sidewalk.

I bumped into someone. I let out a surprised shriek stumbling backwards before nearly tumbling to the ground. I felt huge arms lift me before I could.

I was too focused on the ground—the uneven chips and cracks embedded in the sidewalk. I didn't notice where I was going.

"Sorry, are you okay?"

He ignored me.

"I was paying attention to my feet. I wasn't looking at where I was going. It's all my fault," I apologized profusely.

"Exactly." His harsh voice snapped. I looked up to see the guy who owns the bar Sahar took me to—the bar where we killed someone.

I killed someone.

I swallowed hard before gaining my composure. I squared my shoulders, staring at the man. Sadly I had to look up at him since he was taller than I remember.

He rarely smiled.

I might be able to convince him to give me a job. I needed to show him I could do it. I never stopped until I got what I wanted. My brother hated that part of me.

"Do you want to talk over coffee?" I asked him. My eyes widened when he just turned around and left—ignoring me. Again.

I chased after him. "Is that a yes?" I smiled cheekily.

The stern expression on his face told me to leave him alone, but I continued.

"You know, I know a place that has coffee and fresh cupcakes. I was thinking of going there you could come," I invited the man. "Which reminds me, I don't know much about you. You're not a murderer by any chance, right? I've spent the past year with a murderer, and let me tell; it wasn't the highlight of my year. I missed my graduation. Can you believe that?"

He groaned. I realized I was rambling. What was wrong with me? I never rambled. I also realized I almost slipped up about Giovanni. I closed my mouth grounded my teeth together to stop talking. It didn't work.

"I mean the murderer in my mind. I never actually met a murderer," I scoffed. I shrugged off my thoughts. "I would obviously be dead by now if I did because of the crappy police system there is."