Onika
Beyoncé's house
We were now sitting on the couch talking about nothing in particular. "So why you hang up on me yesterday?" She asked while playing with my hair. "I don't know I think Roman might have done it, I'm sorry." I felt bad because I can tell she really wanted to talk to me. "It's ok, I get it." She said and she continued talking but I zoned out.
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Flash Back
"Nika what's wrong with you. Is this a joke please stop playing like this." Carol held onto her shoulders and shook her. "Mommy my name is Loriee not Nika, I'm not playing I don't know what your talking about." She genuinely didn't know but Carol just starred at her like She was insane. "Nika this is not funny anymore. Stop. It." Carol said in a careful tone. "I'm Loriee and I'm not doing anything mommy I promise I'm a good girl." Loriee told her truthfully. "Come on I'm taking you to the church." She said as she dragged Loriee out of the house.
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The church
As the paster talked to Carol, Loriee sat impatiently fidgeting and swinging her legs back and forth. Her mother soon came up to her and made her get up. She pushed Loriee along as they walked to a scary room in the church where the paster stood with a paddle. "Mama what's happening." Loriee questioned while resisting to go in the dark room. "Nika you have no choice go now!" She yelled which mad Loriee stop resisting and start crying.
"I'm sorry mama I didn't mean to be a bad girl but it's scary in there. Please don't make me go mama, please." Loriee sobbed as her mother still dragged her into the dark room. After she was fully in the room her mother left and she look at the bed in the corner, it had chains on all for edges. The paster pushed Loriee onto the bed and started to hook the chains onto her arms and ankles.
"No don't please I'll be a good girl, I promise." She shouted and wiggled her body around to try and get out of the chains but it didn't matter because she wasn't strong enough. After a while of struggling she felt piping hot water being poured onto her back. "Owwwweee." Loriee screeched now soaking wet. Before she could even recover she felt the paddle landing harshly on her rear end. "Mommy please!!" She shouted in hopes that her mother would come and stop this.
The pastor had hit her 20 more times until he finally thought it was enough. She laid there sobbing and whimpering but it's like no one cared. She soon felt the paster start to rip her clothes off. By now she already knew what this meant. "Mommy please help me!!" The only person she had ever trusted was now the one letting her get hurt. "Don't worry this'll be quick." The paster chuckled after spreading her legs.
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Flash back over
I felt Beyoncé pull me into her and rock back and forth. "It's going to be ok baby calm down." At this point I was crying so hard that I could barley breathe. "Baby your gonna hyperventilate try to calm down please." She pleaded but I still kept crying hard. She grabbed my face and made me look at her to make sure I didn't change. She picked me up and took me outside as I was still sobbing. Once we were in her back yard she sat me down in the grass. "Lay down and look at the clouds baby." I immediately followed instructions.
Her suggestion helped tremendously and fast. When I concentrated on the shape of the clouds and the feel of the grass on my body and it made me stop crying it also eventually made my breathing go back to normal. "Good job baby." I looked at her and she had a huge proud smile engraved into her face like had just won a a Nobel Piece Prize. "Now can you tell me what you thought about that made you cry so hard?" I sighed at her words and looked back up at the sky. "Remember you don't ha-."
"My disorder wasn't all ways this bad...The people around me made it worse." I looked over at her again and she was in the middle of laying down in the grass beside me. "My parents were super "religious" as they would say but they were both horrible people. I was born with this disorder and they started noticing it when I turned five. The only personality I had then was Barbie and my mother despised her." I said and I could feel Beyoncé connect our hands. "Why?" She asked rubbing her thumb over the back of my hand.
"Because Barbie is a baby and my mother didn't wanna baby her so Barbie would whine and throw tantrums. When I started to accumulate my other personalities they all started out with my eye color so she couldn't tell other then the fact that I would act different but she brushed it off until I started getting older, they would tell her that they weren't me not knowing that she was evil. My father started drinking and doing heavy drugs so every time he was home he wasn't himself." I sighed again thinking about the times.
"The first thing that really fucked me up was when my mother took me to the church I guess it was supposed to be an excursion because she thought my disorder was some evil spirit, Loriee was in control but back then I could see what was happening while the others were in control; He poured scolding hot water on her, beat her with a paddle, and h- he r-ra-raped her and my mother didn't do anything about it." The tears came again but this time slowly and not so suffocating. "Oh my god baby I'm so sorry that happened." She said as she rolled over in the grass and wrapped her arms around me.
"All of us have been raped by either my father or someone that I wasn't close to. My father would abuse my mother and even after what she did I would still try to protect her from him and he would he would hit me too. One time Roman lashed out on him and he made him sleep outside overnight with nothing on but some shorts and a tank top." It felt like when I told her all these the a one hundred pound wait was lifted off of me.
"Baby you can keep going I'm listening." I guess she could tell that letting all of these things out were helping me feel better. "He sold me to one of his friends when I was 12 and he also did you know what, when he was done he took me back home with my clothes all torn up and my mom didn't even batt an eye at it she just told me to go get cleaned up. I- I- I got pregnant when I was 15 by the same man my father sold me to." I clenched her hand. "What happened." Bey looked up at me.
"I wanted to keep my baby even though it was a result of something so bad I still looked at it like a blessing but.....I eventually got to big to hide it, he found out and he kicked me in my stomach until it died...." Beyoncé sensed that I was uncomfortable because she started to rub my thigh and I yawned. "You tired?" She asked.
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Beyoncé
Her eyes were now black....Oh my god. "No leave me the fuck alone." Roman said as he got up from the grass and threw me off of him. "Roman what I tell you? I know you can't control it but you gon stop talking to me crazy." I got up and walked behind him into the house. "Can you leave me alone Beyoncé I'm not in the mood I don't want you to touch me." He said laying down on the couch and I just sighed. "I'm going to sleep." I just stood there looking at him. "Ok imma go in the room." I walked away not wanting to make him more angry.
