nico v • the art of self-defense and motherhood

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I need to stop drinking.

The last thing I remembered was dancing on a pool table as a Katy Perry song began to play. And then I was being shaken awake by my sister telling me it's time for work.

I rub my eyes early in the morning, and the memories from last night begin to flow prior to being unconscious, I remember being very...charismatic.

And by that, I mean I was flirting with every single guy I came into contact with. Them, never having seen me at a party before, thought it was apparently hilarious.

Anyway, my throat tightens as Hazel shows me Snapchat videos from last night, and much to my anticipated horror, there I was. Seductively dancing. One of the videos ends with Will catching me falling off the table, which I don't remember. I don't remember anything. I could ask Hazel.

I throw off my blanket and Hazel hands me coffee. Sometimes she could be cool like that. "What happened?" I ask.

"I hardly remember myself," she says. "I remember Percy picking me up, saying he took you home. And then he took me by his house, we carried you out and into here. And that's all I really know."

"Gross," I mumble. "My head fucking feels 1,000 pounds."

"I'm so glad I can finally drink with you," she sighs contently. At least she was happy. I felt miserable and embarrassed.

   She drove me to work. I was too tired to.

   I had popped probably the legal limit of ibuprofen, but by 1 PM, I had the biggest migraine in the world. Drew's voice didn't help.

   "I sent it in, it's getting reviewed," Drew says. She puts her hands on her hips. The other three were busy researching for something. She had pulled Will and I aside. "It goes to Octavian first. He reviews it and gives us the green-light. But I can tell he'll like it."

   The most I can do is nod.

   "Now," Drew sighs. "I have a feeling you guys didn't do what I asked."

   I look up slightly. "Hm?"

   "It was edited. But I think you guys edited your own narratives," she flips her hair with sass. "I gave you guys a challenge. You need to prove that the two of you can get along and be mature. Next time I tell you guys to do something, do it. Thanks." Then, she sashays off.

   "Was she just...serious about something?" Will asks.

   I groan. "My head is fucking killing me," I say, plopping down in my chair and burying my face in my hands on the table.

   I can feel Will staring at me. "Yeah, you kinda threw up all last night," he says.

   "I guess it's good I don't remember that," I sigh. I pick up my head and my eyes go towards his knuckles. I'm just now realizing they're bruised and red. "Christ, what happened there?" I cringe.

   I remember for a brief moment how my mom, my biological mom, used to kiss my scratches when I was hurt. She'd kiss it, smile, and say, "to make it better," before putting a bandaid on it.

   I don't remember anything else about her.

   Will nervously pulls his hand away. "It's, uh, nothing." I've never seen him doing anything nervously. And he immediately clears his throat, trying to cover up for himself. "I punched someone."

I feel my eyebrows raise. "Of course you did," I sigh. "I've never understood fighting."

"It wasn't a fight," he clarifies. "I punched someone."

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