Euphoria || DreamNotFound

Love-sick - Chap 19

I deserve many bonks now. I am sorry for not keeping a good upload schedule- honestly so much has been going on and I am quickly losing motivation for this book after reading it through and cringing many times- idk man- also because I'm working on another book right now in the drafts, and I think this one will be a lot better since this story has gotten a little boring in my eyes. This story is wrapping up in a few chaps but I hope you guys enjoyed what you read :)
TW:
Nothing explicit is said, but "the deed" is implied

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(Karl POV)

Walking through the hallways alone with Sapnap was... intense? We all had a blast minutes prior and we were still coming down from the sugar highs and emotion filled night. I tried recollecting my thoughts as we walked in complete solitude towards our dorm.

I blame my sleep deprived state for driving myself closer to him with every step. At one point, we were so close I felt our pinkies brush. My heart collapsed when I felt him shuffle away slightly.

I heard him sigh as he got out the key to our dorm and struggled with the lock. I leaned against the wall waiting awkwardly.

He got the door open and walked in not checking if I was behind. I guess he was just putting on a happy face earlier? That or he was pissed at me more than I thought. (No shit sherlock, he means after the apologies and everything from last chapter in the dorm <---)

I quietly closed the door behind me, and my body froze as I watched Sapnap lift the shirt off his body to change. I must have been staring for too long because we made eye contact for a second before he gestured to my dresser to stop staring. I blushed and lowered my gaze to the floor in embarrassment as I made my way over to change.

Turns out Sapnap was a hypocrite because I caught him staring as I turned around to see him sitting on his bed watching my back. He coughed to cover it up and motioned for me to sit in front of him. I nervously made my way over and sat on my bed while facing him. I couldn't dare make eye contact.

"Karl."

I gulped and waited a few seconds before looking up to meet his eyes. He was unreadable, not at all like himself.

"I guess we're talking this out one way or another," I sighed and fiddled with my hands in my lap. Sapnap nodded slowly, expectantly. It was obvious he wanted me to start the conversation.

"Sapnap, I know I screwed up," I stared at him dead-in-the-eyes. "But humans do that sometimes. I've never... felt these emotions with anyone before. This is a first for me, so it's also my first time messing up something I love so much. I know you needed space... and I tried to give it to you. I really did." Tears started forming in my eyes, but I tried my hardest to push them down. Sapnap was still unreadable, but that only pushed me to continue further. "But I can't stand seeing you laugh with our friends... or smile when your happy... because I'm never there. I'm never the one making you laugh. I'm not the one making you happy, or nervous, or excited. I want to be the one that makes you like that. I don't want it to be anyone else, especially Alex. It's always been you."

I watched as he cringed at the name, but shockingly, he softened. His posture, his eyes, everything seemed to melt. If I tried stopping the tears from falling earlier, I definitely was not trying now.

Everything was quiet. Too quiet.

I sniffled and tried to dry my tears, but settled on just letting them fall as I stared down to my lap, finally breaking the contact.