Meeting Him Online

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You’re surfing the internet, bored, when you spot a pop-up advertisement for a website called PerfectMatch.com. You’re curious, so you search for PerfectMatch.com online. The website’s home page promises to connect you to your perfect match online, with guaranteed results.

You don’t have anything better to do, so you sign up for the website. After choosing a username and password and filling out a survey, you move on.

You forget all about Perfect Match for a few days, until you get a message saying that you’ve been matched to ‘HotHead.’ You’re bored again and don’t have anything better to do, so you accept and open a chat window.

HotHead: ‘Sup?

Y/u: That’s the first thing you say to somebody you met online? “Sup?”

HotHead: Well, that’s what I’d say if I just met you in real life. What would you say, smart-mouth?

Y/u: I’d say hi.

HotHead: Wow. I’m completely blown away by that incredible way of saying hello. Not.

Y/u: It’s better than sup. And by the way, hi.

HotHead: Sup?

Y/u: Are you just doing that to annoy me? Because it’s not working.

HotHead: Sup?

Y/u: I already said it’s not working. Now cut it out.

HotHead: Sup?

Y/u: *Puts fingers in ears* Naah naah nah na naah! I can’t hear you!

HotHead: Okay, I won’t tell you about…

Y/u: About what?

Y/u: …

Y/u: You’re despicable.

HotHead: Thanks. I’ve spent years figuring out how to do that in case I met some gullible stranger online.

Y/u: Who are you calling gullible?

HotHead: Says the person who’s talking to a stranger she just met online.

Y/u: Says the guy who’s doing the exact same thing.

HotHead: …Touché.

You and HotHead exchange insults for the next hour, until you log off and go to bed. As you snuggle between your blankets, you can’t wait for tomorrow, so you can chat with your new friend.

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