Funny Shorts

Maybe I am asking too much of us. Episode 14- FUCK THE U.S.

Number 5. I referenced gun loving, and government decisions. Well. We need to stop deciding things on what the population wants and start enacting things based on things that society needs. Guns? Don't have to go away, but need to be restricted, more things in place to control who has them, how they are used, and where they are stored. We see school shootings, murders, other crimes related to guns and yet we are still saying that guns are a basic human right. Well, sure, but so is life. We aren't trying to take away the guns, we are trying to save lives by adding protection for your guns. You idiot. And the government isn't going, 'oh, we are doing this because it has been proven that the system we have currently is causing more casualties' they are going, "Yah, but if we do that then I will lose the south votes." Because public image is more important than lives. And instead of making that clear, saying "we are just trying to protect you and your guns" we are saying "we need to restrict guns". This is just making it seem like we are going to take all the guns. And the people that are against this are the people that are going, "Yah, but my guns would be taken away from me!" Well, if that is true, that means that it is unsafe for you to have them, unsafe for you, for others, for everyone. So, yah, maybe you shouldn't have them.

Number 6. Public Opinion. We need to be fucking educated before we open our dumb mouths. People need to get on the same page that facts are facts and subjectivity is not fact. We can't have a discussion about things if you don't know about said things. I can't give you facts if you don't understand a word I am saying, or if you don't listen to the facts I'm dropping.

You close minded fuck. It's like talking to a rock. If you don't even consider that others have different opinions and that that is ok, then how are we going to get anywhere. How are you going to get anything you want if you can't even make a list of facts and reasons to have it other than, "It's the best" "I want it" and "The US will crash and burn in hell without " blah blah blah. Yah, thats great, but depictions on how the US is going to burn in the inferno isn't really a reason or fact that will get a fucking legislation put in place. Marching is only going to show the amount of people that agree, but like, just because a lot of people agree, doesn't mean that it will get done unless you can spout some borderline Elizabethan speech to convince congress or something to get what you want. And if you can barely speak without losing the brain cells of everyone in the room, maybe you should sit and write a letter. Write a list, gather your thoughts.

Number 7. I agree that we will burn in the inferno. .... But not the way that close minded idiots think. I think that we are going to burn ... literally. The carbon cycle was a balanced cycle, but then we decided to be idiots worldwide and dig into the earth for the purpose of going fast and having things. Ironic, we dig into the earth and then turn around and destroy the earth with it. We put extra carbon into the atmosphere as well as cut down the very thing that is sucking up the carbon dioxide so that we don't fucking die like we are under the atomic bomb. Just fucking melting under the heat. I swear to god this makes me so angry that we are doing the absolute minimum when the options are 'stop cutting down trees for stupid things' or 'increased natural disasters and death'. We started this thing, greenhouse gas, Deforestation, Fossil Fuel usage. Just. Fuck.

Number 8. Another human made fuck up. Fucking Plastic. PLASTIC ISN'T FUCKING BIODEGRADABLE. IT ISN'T DEGRADABLE AT ALL. PERIOD. I could go on a rant for forever about how plastic just breaks down into microplastic. It doesn't go away. It just gets added to GPGP, Great Pacific Garbage Patch. Which literally is Texas times three in size. And this isn't just the US, but probably most of it. Maybe tied with China. I just, fuck save the turtles, save the fucking ocean. I could care less about turtles, there are more plant life, and animal life that is so much more relevant to the circle of life. Fish do things for plants and animals and if fish die, then other things are greatly affected. I mean, what! Oh fucking no, they are endangered. So we can focus on that a little. If fucking turtles make you stop creating plastic then fucking sksksksk save the turtles. I just think that... save the coral. Save the fish. Save fucking humans. Microplastics can be swallowed in water content and seen in fish bodies. Save the fucking humans. Cute ass turtles can fuck off.

*sigh* Anyways.

Number 9. Society needs to accept people. If it doesn't affect your life, why the fuck do you care? Oh. Fuck. No. How dare that couple show their love right next to a cis, heteronormative, white, American, stereotypical couple. How fucking dare. Because it totally affects you, the person walking down the hall, witnessing two people holding goddamn hands. I am irritated. "MIND YOUR BUSINESS DAVID'' as the vine world will understand.

Number 10. Stop looking down on other generations. Boomers have their mentalities, Gen Z theirs. Both smart in their own time periods and own ways. Why does it matter? Because we live in a world that offensiveness equals violence. How 'bout we play a game called "keep your hands to yourself, sit down, shut up, and wait your turn to share in the circle" Bring in the fucking talking piece. Because we are all kindergarteners who need to learn respect, listening when others are speaking, understanding others have their own valid opinions, and not interrupting. I swear to fucking Dwayne the Rock Johnson, shut the fuck up and play rock paper scissors on the blacktop so that you can become bestest of friends again. Just because Jermey didn't share his goldfish with you does not mean you get to take it from him. Or hit him. Say you're sorry and go sit in the corner for a little while. Because if all the ages can't be respected for the smarts and skills they have, then maybe we all need to be treated like kindergarteners for a while.

Number 11. Fuck your chicken strips

Number 12. The icecaps are melting. *buurrrrrrraa* Polar Bears are dying.

Number 13. You either kill yourself or get killed *duhduh duhduh* "whatcha gonna do"

Number 14. I still love myself, even though I look like a burnt chicken nugget, I still love myself.

Number 15. Burger King foot lettuce, the last thing people want on their burger king burger is someone else's foot fungus.

Number 16. Everyone has their own form of communication, own thought process that you need to respect. This is something that breaks people into unnecessary categories. Just because someone needs a visual representation, an audio representation, needs to talk with their hands, needs to spin a fidget spinner, need to multitask or a physical representation, etc... Does. Not. Mean. They. Are. Any. Less. Smart. Don't be an asshole.

Number 17. Like I said. Just don't be an asshole. Americans are known assholes.

Number 18. Why is English the universal language now? What is so special about a language that stole from other languages and decided to fuck everyone else? Nothing.

Don't be rude because someone doesn't speak english. Maybe you should learn their language for a change. You self absorbed prick.

Number 19. Learn how to drive your fucking vehicle and pay attention. Killing people everyday because you didn't want to be bored on the drive there. And sober up, bring a buddy if you need to. The fucking elementary school buddy system works for everyone you know.

Number 20. Educate yourself. Form your own opinions. You can agree and disagree, but make sure that you form your own opinion, gather facts, evidence. Learn. Get things from other sources, other places, don't be purposefully closed minded on topics just because you don't want to see other reasons. Grow a pair and realize that knowledge is power and power leads to change. Don't put other people down for your own ignorance. Be respectful in disagreements.

So in conclusion, I value respect. I don't value people who choose to be disrespectful for no reason and those who refuse to see reason.

Be a good person. Education is a thing.

And lastly. Express yourself, every opinion is valid as long as it doesn't hurt yourself or others.

That concludes this episode. Peace out fuckers.