Wandering

1|the start of the old

He told me he loves me. And I left, without even a second look. The car ride with my mom was silent. My chest rising and falling, trying to get my head around the whole situation. My phone buzzed constantly in my hand. Romeo text, called, facetimed. 

'Chiara I'm sorry'

'I do love you'

'Please'

'At least tell me you are ok?'

I debated about responding but I didn't want to give him false hope, that would just be rude. My hands hovered over the keyboard but I hesitated. I decided to text Rose instead. I go to her contact, I have 2 missed calls from her and a text. I took a deep breath and began to type,

'Tell Romeo it's over and tell him I'm sorry. Tell him I'll be okay and that he can move on. Tell him I love him too.'

I re-read my text and bite my lip nervously. I should probably get rid of the last bit, as I said before I don't want him to get his hopes up. I look over the text and send it. 

'Tell Romeo it's over and tell him I'm sorry. Tell him I'll be okay and that he can move on. Thanks for everything. You've been amazing and I'll keep our memories forever.'

Once I press send, I turn my phone off and take a glance at the rear view mirror. My Mom was watching me and when she caught my gaze she continued watching the road.
"I'm not living in the same house as you. You manipulated me to come back but you can't force me to move in and live with you." I fire towards her.
"Yes but I don't know where you'll live instead. You have no money to live anywhere else other than in my house where you pay nothing. Unless you want to live on the streets?" She argues back.
"Fine but don't expect me to be around." I sigh.

The rest of the car journey was silent. Neither of us bothered to speak, instead listening to the music my mother had turned up to ignore everything else I assume. The ride was short to the airport as I hadn't lived to far away. We pulled up to the area for car rentals and I stood awkwardly as my Mom signed some papers. I looked down at my phone I had powered off. I decided to turn it back on to glance over if Rose had messaged me back. 

I had multiple notifications come through. 19 missed calls from Romeo. 6 unread messages from Romeo. And 2 texts from Rose. I went straight to Rose's message.

'Chiara it's Romeo. I know you won't read my message so Rose let me text from her phone. I'm sorry I know you don't want me right now but I need to tell you somethings.' My breath hitched and I continued reading.

'It was true. I love you. I hope you feel the same way, or even felt the same way. I know it was a lot in the moment and it still is a lot. I feel lost without you and I won't move on from you. Leo told me how he'll sort out all the legal things so maybe fate will work in our favour. I won't forget you, you're my first love. Please stay in contact with one of us. Tell us your safe, I wouldn't be bale to live with myself if I didn't know you were safe. If your Mom hurts you, go to your lake. You'll be safe there. I promise. I'll never give up on you tesoro.'

I read the message underneath too.

'It's Rose. I let him read your text and he insisted to text you back. I'm sorry if that's not what you wanted but he needed it. He won't contact you anymore if that's what you want... if you need to speak to him, text him directly or tell me. He won't refuse you and I know it. Leo will save you soon. I can't wait to see you again, it's going to be hard without you. Bye Chi.'

I didn't reply after her message. They could see I had read the message and I hope that was enough for them. I didn't have it in me to reply. I was so overwhelmed that I didn't want to say the wrong thing. I was on the cusp of numb and sad. I tore my gaze away from my phone and saw my Mom striding up to me, my bag in her hand. 

She handed my my bag and I slid it on so it hung from shoulder. She made her way to the entrance and I followed behind. We went through security and waited for our flight. Neither of us made conversation yet it was a comfortable silence. I looked over at the people in the airport, reminiscing on how I met Rose at the airport in Louisiana. I half smiled to myself as I realised that I didn't know what was to come in Italy.

A voice boomed over the speakers that our flight was boarding and we made our way to the doors. I stood next to my Mom and she put on a smile as if we were a happy little family going back home after a trip to Italy yet it was anything but. I could have been sat around with Rose talking about her date with Marco but I was sulking in an airport going back to the place I had no intention of going again. 

We finally sat down and buckled up for the flight. Instead of stressing myself over the long flight and I closed my eyes and waited to land. I leant against the back of the seat and laid my head on my hand. The flight was mostly smooth so I fell asleep soon. The last thing going through my mind was Romeo. Wondering what he was doing. Rose probably cancelled on Marco. And my Dad... he was probably already working on me becoming a citisen in Italy. 

I did want to go back, live in Italy and work it out with Romeo. But for the time being, I had to end it with him. It wouldn't work. I'll be living 12 hours away on the other side of the world and I know how much it will break the both of our hearts knowing we can't enjoy being around one another.

I just hope you wait for me Romeo. Though I did tell you to move on, deep down I was selfish and wanted him to not give up on me. I trusted him. I know he will wait for me. He told me he loved me.

I love you too Romeo.