Power Play | PJM 🔞

13| Goodnight

We're in Jimin's car, going back to ballet school where he is going to drop me off.

It's 4 in the morning.

My last moments with him feel like a blur. We showered together, washing our bodies in silence, until all of the conditioner was out of my hair and I felt squeaky clean. By that point, the entire bathroom smelled like vanilla and coconut. Of course, Jimin had plenty of skin care products and fancy washes, which I had gladly laddered my body with.

I then proceeded to try to get out of the shower. Jimin didn't let me. He blocked the way out, dominating me with his height.

"Are you this eager to get rid of me?" he had asked.

"Of course not!"

Quite the opposite. I like you. Idiot. That's why I should leave.

"Can I eat you out, then?" he had asked with wide eyes.

For a second, I thought he was messing with me. He wasn't. The seriousness of his expression made me freeze, and he took my silence as an open invitation. I felt the desperation in his movements as he kneeled in front of me and started eating me out one last time, tongue brushing over my clit over and over again as he grabbed onto my thighs.

I think he had sensed how frustrated I was becoming and was trying to make up for it, somehow. I thought about resisting, then didn't even know how to get away from such pleasure without starting to cry. Again, I came pretty fast and hard, moaning shamelessly with one leg propped on his shoulder and both my hands in his hair.

Then we dried ourselves and I put my dress back on. Jimin offered me a hoodie, which I didn't hesitate to put on. He also insisted that I would dry my hair before we leave so I wouldn't catch a cold. I told him I would be fine, and he let me have this one, grabbing his keys and blindfolding me once again to get out of his house. He picked me up in his arms, this time facing me, and I hugged him with my head propped on his shoulder as he carried me to the garage like a child. While I was there, I took a good sniff of his neck, trying to command my memory to remember everything about that moment; how solid his body felt in my arms, the fast beats of his heart, thumping against mine, the soft fabric of his hoodie on my skin.

I wished I could stay like that forever.

Alas, we arrived in the garage and Jimin put me down, opening the door for me and making sure I wouldn't hit my head while sitting down.

The journey back is quiet.

To be honest, I am exhausted, and I don't even have the energy to start a conversation. I feel physically, but also emotionally drained right now, and I can't wait to get into bed and sleep like a rock. I know I'm going to think about him non-stop in the next few days. I know he's going to haunt my dreams and my awake thoughts, that he's going to drive me crazy, even if we don't talk ever again.

But for now, I'm so tired I'm numbed to all of it. I simply lean my head against the window and stay there, feeling the cold against my cheek as the engine vibrates underneath my seat.

Jimin has to shake me awake when we arrive at school and for a second, I am so disoriented I almost get scared. Then he removes my blindfold, I meet his eyes and have to hold back from crying.

I'm never going to see him again.

This fact doesn't seem to faze him too much. He's blankly watching the road before us, holding on the steering wheel with white knuckles from pressing too hard the leather, lips forming a tight line.

Just ask, I mentally urge him, tell me you want to see me again! Ask me out. Come on!

However nothing comes and after a few seconds of intense starring on my part, I get that I'm not going to get anything after this.

I sigh, my eyes stinging.

"Goodnight," I finally say, opening the door for the last time.

He catches my wrist, holding me back. My eyes meet his and a certain uncertainty seems to invade his body.

"I - ..." he stutters.

We would be so good for each other; my gaze tries to tell him.

After a few seconds of silent, I narrow my eyes, watching his fingers curl harder around my wrist.

"What?" I finally ask.

"I.... nothing."

He lets me go. I sigh.

"Oh, I almost forgot," I say, removing his hoodie to give it back to him.

"You can keep it."

"No. It's fine."

I know myself. Keeping something of his is going to drive me nuts. I don't want to use his hoodie as a pillowcase and imagine all sorts of scenarios where he's coming back for it as a secret plan to see me again. Either that, or I'm going to bring it to the occult shop down the road and ask the old crazy lady there to cast a love spell on it. Not a good idea at all.

I give him back his hoodie, and he takes it reluctantly.

I then proceed to get out of the car, close the door, watch him as he drives away without a look back. In the moment, I'm too tired to be distraught by this vision and simply walk up to the dorms, opening the door with my key card to find myself back home.

It smells like wood and chalk in here; familiar and comforting.

I walk up the stairs, deciding to go to bed without brushing my teeth. It doesn't take long for me to find my room and crash in my bed, trying to be as silent as possible not to wake up my snoring roommate.

The more I think about it, the more I'm trying to find some kind of reason for his decision to never see me again. I think about the lawyer I met in the restaurant and the NDA I signed. Maybe it would be dangerous to see each other again. Maybe his family are bad people and he's protecting me. Maybe he's leaving the country forever.

Or maybe he just doesn't like me.

So much things I'll never know.

So much questions to torture myself with.

But for the moment, I close my eyes and let myself dream about him and his ceiling covered in little plastic stars.