Fixing the Future

1.3

Uncle Vernon opened his newspaper as usual and Dudley banged his Smelting stick, which he carried everywhere, on the table.  They heard the click of the mail slot and flop of letters on the doormat. 
"Get the mail, Dudley," said Uncle Vernon from behind his paper.

'Woah! He's actually making Dudley do something?' Regulus said in shock.

"Make Harry get it."

"Get the mail, Harry."

'Nevermind then.'

"Make Dudley get it."

"Poke him with your Smelting stick, Dudley."

Harry dodged the Smelting stick and went to get the mail. Three things lay on the doormat along with Harry's Hogwarts letter!

There were lots of loud cheers at this, along with Bellatrix saying,
'Finally.'

The letter said:

Mr. H. Potter 
The Cupboard under the Stairs 
4 Privet Drive 
Little Whinging 
Surrey

'Dumbledore knew my son was living in a cupboard!' Lily shouted angrily. And most of the woman looked equally scandalised by the thought.

'Um I think the letters are written by self writing quills so he probably didn't.' Alyssa said although she felt very annoyed with Dumbledore herself.

"Hurry up, boy!" shouted Uncle Vernon from the kitchen. "What are you doing, checking for letter bombs?" He chuckled at his own joke.

'I'm cackling with laughter,' Regulus commented sarcastically.
'I wish you would, that would be a sight to see,' Barty said with a grin.

Harry went back to the kitchen, still staring at his letter. He handed Uncle Vernon the bill and the postcard, sat down, and slowly began to open the yellow envelope.

'No!' Alyssa groaned, 'Don't open the mysterious letter in front of them.'

Uncle Vernon ripped open the bill, snorted in disgust, and flipped over the postcard.  "Marge's ill," he informed Aunt Petunia. "Ate a funny whelk . . ."  "Dad!" said Dudley suddenly. "Dad, Harry's got something!" 

'Does he have to ruin everything,' James complained in exasperation.

Harry was on the point of unfolding his letter, which was written on the same heavy parchment as the envelope, when it was jerked sharply out of his hand by Uncle Vernon.  "That's mine!" said Harry, trying to snatch it back.

'Nice try,' said Sirius.

"Who'd be writing to you?" sneered Uncle Vernon, shaking the letter open with one hand and glancing at it.

'Hm, I don't know- maybe the whole of the wizarding world,' Marlene said.

His face went from red to green faster than a set of traffic lights. And it didn't stop there. Within seconds it was the grayish white of old porridge. "P-P-Petunia!" he gasped. Dudley tried to grab the letter to read it, but Uncle Vernon held it high out of his reach. Aunt Petunia took it curiously and read the first line. For a moment it looked as though she might faint. She clutched her throat and made a choking noise.

"Vernon! Oh my goodness — Vernon!" 

'Drama queen,' Sirius muttered.

'That's rich coming from you,' Remus replied and Sirius clutched his chest in mock hurt.