My final story to be told~ Cato's story (hungergames)

(17) Little paradise

(17) Little paradise

I am just sitting against a tree, knees up with my arms wrapped around it and my chin is resting in the hole between both kneecaps. They think that I don't notice them sitting across me staring worried and examining looks and they are probably thinking; why is a mentally unstable person our leader and in our pack. I can hear them leaving to collect some "wood for the fire" but I know that they are excanging their thoughts about me. Those lying, egotistic, careless, heartless, ignoring and most importantly sadistic people, except maybe Peeta but I cannot figure him out.

The anthem is booming throughout the entire arena, the sound is coming from a nearby hidden speaker and there are also hidden camera's as well. They must've filmed me breaking down the pieces that have slowly but surely have been glued together to make me whole again, to be shattered again. Maybe, just maybe that is my destiny, to be a shattered one. I am glad that those trackers aren't able to hear my thoughts because I look damn weak, no more than that. Get together piece of shit and I gather myself up to hold it together for as long as I can.

The ones who have fallen are being illuminated against the edge of the arena high up in the sky, visible for anyone and everyone still alive. The pictures that have been shown next to our training scores will be showed here as well, because it wouldn't be fair to expose a tribute's secret weapon, although at home they will show their death in extreme detail. But for us they don't show it  and this is an advantage or a disadvantage. It depends on your vision.

A blue, sort of holographic picture of the logo of this nation is shown to let all the tributes know the dead ones. "I am respecting your sacrifices to die and give us a chance to live. I am terribly sorry for what you have gone through and that the angel of death has got to you. I hope you haven't suffered a great deal of pain and may it have been quick. I am sorry that your child has died in a horrible battle." I say softly as a mantra, so soft it cannot be heard, though the others are staring at me.

They didn't expect me to stand up and join them looking at the sky. I am a hypocrite I think when the first dead tribute is shown. It is someone I recognise and may have killed myself. What am I talking about sacrifices because I murdered them and there is no excuse, so I better get over myself and act or become a real bloodthirsty career. This horrifies me, but makes me glad on the inside as well. Human emotions are strange, extremely strange.

They show one face with their home district beneath it and then turn to the next one. I am just looking at the district number and am counting the ones who died. Their faces change so quickly, or I think they do, and they are just a blur of a blue spots of hologramic light. This goes on for about a minute and a half.

After that I immediately sit down again against my tree, but not like earlier. Now with my legs in front of me, near the fire. The fire is burning and warming all of us. The red, orangy flames are circling around in changing patterns creating the light shining on our faces to change and make us look different. Glimmer is sitting next to me so I am probably respectable again.

I stare at those little sparks that drift off into the unknown and are flowing wherever the wind takes them. They don't have a free will, just like us but I chose for this so I shouldn't complain. The glowing sparks slowly die the higher they come and for a moment they are stars far away that are born, then shine to implode after that. They come from nothing and become nothing.

"You know Cato, I think you are very, very brave entering this arena in your state." Glimmer winks.

I raise my eyebrow, as a question and because I don't feel like talking. I really don't, not unless it is the lunatic. I push back the tought the moment I think of her and her silky hair. I can't. I have to. I turn my eyebrows all the way to the left and notice her watching over me. Not like somebody who has a broken heart or carries hatred, no just like somebody who is dissappointed.