Chapter 17

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Now I'm not a stupid girl and I ain't got time for this shit so I of course immedietly pushed open the heavy door and ran outside, in an attempu to find Cain before he hurt himself again. He did seem pretty upset after all.

As soon as I ran out, a thought hit me.

I was naked.

Or practically naked. After all, I was just wearing a bra and panties.

I searched frantically for my clothes, finally finding them tucked under a bush.

As soon as I was dressed,
I walked hurriedly in the direction of the town.

As I was walking, I realized something.

I had nothing to say to either of them.

As much as I wanted to be with both of them and tell them both that I loved them, I could only have one.

Cain was right, it was one or the other.

. . .

I decided to head back to my house. I tried to figure it out in my own head, but it wasnt working out up there. I called Vaisey and asked for her opinion and she said that she had absolutely no idea, but that I should make a Pros and Cons List.

Wow, I felt stupid. Of course I should make a Pros and Cons list!! duh Lullah!

I smiled as I ripped out a peice of paper from my notebook.

PROS AND CONS OF CAIN, I wrote at the top.

Pros: never cheated on me, attractive, nice, funny , popular, i just really like him.

Cons: he seems so sad sometimes I dont know what to do, maybe would cheat on me if we dated, hes not the dating type of guy

My list for Cain was messy and confusing.

I ripped out another peice of paper, this time with Charlie's name at the top.

CHARLIE

Pros: Really sweet and funny, attractive, likes all my friends already, adorable

Cons: cheated on me, can be rude

Ahhhhh! I hated this! This list thing was so hard.

I decided it was time for bed.

. . .

I tossed and turned for an hour, but I just couldn't go to sleep. This Charlie/Cain thing was so stressful!

I turned on the flashlight on my phone and went downstairs.

I went immediately to the cabinet marked 'Medications'

I opened it and pulled out a bottle of prescription sleeping pills that Dibdobs took when we went on vacation.

I didnt know how many I should take, so I decided on 7. I popped them in my mouth and headed back up the stairs.

If I had been more careful, I would have read the warning label stating too only take 1-5 depending on doctors recommendation, any amount over was deadly.

HAHDNEJMFEMSM WILL SHE LIVE? IDK MAN WE'LL HAVE TO SEE

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