𝐎𝐍𝐄𝐒𝐇𝐎𝐓𝐒 | whatever i feel like

MENTAL

"Just because you don't understand it doesn't mean it isn't so."
– Lemony Snicket, The Blank Book.

PROLOGUE

"Stop! Isabelle!" Panic fills the voice.

What's going on?
Where am I?
Who am I?
What am I?
Bright lights. Flashing voices. Blurred faces. The noise around is mixed together to create one hellish sound. The noise drags itself down my ears.

I see someone. They are pulling me. Telling me unknown words that make no sense. I am in danger, I can tell that. But can I? I don't even know who I am. Maybe everything is just a dream?
Pain in my arm.
No, it's not a dream. But it should be. Everything should be a dream. An endless puzzle. It would be simpler if I stop. But stop what? I don't even know what I'm doing, or if I'm even really doing it.

A memory stirs. A person laughing. Then sadness, tears, alone. But is it true? I feel like this person cared about me. But is that true? Why would anybody care? Not even about me, but in general. Why would anyone care about this pitiful thing called life? It always ends in loss and pain.
But I don't even know what real. Maybe it is. Maybe.

More pain. But not physical pain. Emotional pain. It hits me like a bomb. The shrapnel makes its way through my bloodstream, burying itself deep in my heart. But I don't even know what that is. Or feels like. I am so confused. Is it real? Is it fake? My brain seems to be tearing itself to pieces, ripping and shredding. My eyes feel heavy. More indescribable noises. Sharp pain in my back, like a prick. The poison spreads through my body. My eyes can barely stay open.

But in the end, who cares if I die. Not me. After all this confusion I would be thankful. But, what even defines death? Is it when your hearts and lungs stop working? Or can you die even when those organs still work? When you feel brain dead when you give up the will to live. But then what defines life?

I can't think any more. And anyway, what's the difference? Life, death, they are all the same. Peace, war, order, chaos, they are all so different but so similar. I can't stay awake any longer. Goodbye world. Good

Would you guys be interest if I continued this??

Also sorry for not updated in literally forever lol I love you all