flirt; yeonbin

thirty one

No no no, Soobin told himself. This isn't the time to be affected by mere words. Yeonjun needs him and he doesn't mean any of it, right? Obviously, Yeonjun doesn't mean that he hates Soobin. But hearing Yeonjun say that he hated Soobin over and over again, hurt Soobin a little...?

Yeonjun looked up at Soobin who was now crying too, and Yeonjun wanted to protect him from all evil on Earth.

"Soobinnie." Yeonjun breathed, and then lifted up a hand to wipe his tears and then caressed his cheek.

Yeonjun doesn't know why, but the red on Soobin's cheek makes him look so pretty, but he's crying. Crying, and perhaps all because of Yeonjun.

The two have hurt the other so much, but neither of them realise it. They've given so much to the other, but they're hurt too.

Hurt because of each other.

"Don't cry, Soobin-ah." Yeonjun said again, and held Soobin's giant hand in his.

It was a little cold, and Yeonjun rubbed their palms together, feeding Soobin his warmth.

"Why are you crying, Binnie?"

"I-I don't know-" Soobin sniffed and Yeonjun tightened his grip around Soobin's hand.

What Yeonjun seemed to notice is that, Yeonjun had been holding Soobin's hand. But Soobin didn't hold his hand back. It was only Yeonjun forcefully trying to feel the younger's presence near him in some manner. Soobin didn't twine his fingers with Yeonjun's. And that fact wanted Yeonjun to break down all over again and cry.

But no, he's not going to be selfish and cry again, especially when Soobin was here, and crying too.

"I don't hate you, Soobin." Yeonjun finally said, still trying to hold Soobin near to him.

"Then-why-" Soobin said, and then stopped himself. This was obviously not about himself. Yeonjun was crying, and he happened to witness it. He was here to console him, not cry along with him.

Soobin pulled Yeonjun close to him, and Yeonjun's head rested against Soobin's chest, feeling guilty about making Soobin feel unwanted.

"Do you, maybe want to talk about it?" Soobin asked, once the both of the had calmed down, and they still lay in each other's arms.

All Yeonjun wanted to do was run away from Soobin, and ignore his messages. His feelings were getting out of his control. And he hated every bit of it. Every single thing, from how everything ended with him around Soobin even when that was the only one thing he didn't want himself to do.

"I guess so. If you'll listen." Yeonjun looked up at him, and Soobin nodded.

"Of course, baby. I will." Soobin said, and then bit his lip. "Sorry, you asked me not to call you that."

Yeonjun smiled a little. Probably after this time, Yeonjun would never be able to hear Soobin call him baby. As much as he denied it, he felt like he was on the top of the world when Soobin called him lovingly.

"Just, hear me out carefully, okay?" Yeonjun said, still very nervous to confess to Soobin. "Just, let me finish, before you start hating me."

"Start to hate you? I could never bab-" Soobin stopped himself. Woah, he had no idea that he called Yeonjun baby and cheesy pet names so much. No wonder it slipped with every sentence of his.

"Please wait to decide any of that." Yeonjun said slowly, and Soobin nodded.

He didn't know why Yeonjun was being like this, but okay since he asked him to do something, Soobin agreed.

"Well obviously, you know that there's something between us." Yeonjun began, not even knowing how to get his point across. "I mean, you obviously don't share the same relationship with HueningKai or Beomgyu like you do with me."

"Yeah." Soobin said, having absolutely no idea where this was going.

"At first, this was all just pure fun, me teasing you. But slowly... I fell for you, Soobin." Yeonjun said, and finally let out the deep breath he didn't realise that he was holding.

He scanned Soobin's face for any sort of an expression, but for once he couldn't read his face. It just looked...blank.

"At first I thought that it was only pure admiration." Yeonjun continued, "But as time passed, I had no other choice but to accept my feelings for you. Just, staying with you everyday made me realise that I really like you, Soobin. I've been, uh- trying to get rid of my feelings for the past week by not meeting you or interacting with you at all. Because I did so, I knew it was hell for me. I wasn't even gay, I just preferred not having a label. But now it doesn't matter to me, because I know I love you."

"I don't want you to say that you love me." Yeonjun continued, not meeting Soobin's eyes. "I just think that flirting with you so much made me realise what a pure angel you are. And how I just constantly want you around me. It really makes me happy. You, really make me happy."

Soobin just stared at Yeonjun. No expression, his mind clear.

He just couldn't seem to react on this.

"I don't need you to say anything, Soobin." Yeonjun said. " I just wanted to you know about my feelings, before we end up doing something more."

"Oh. I'm sorry." Soobin said, and Yeonjun looked up at Soobin.

Is that... all he had to say?

"I-i should, go now." Soobin said, and Yeonjun almost pleaded with his eyes for Soobin to stay back with him, but all in vain.

Soobin just turned back, and didn't even look back at Yeonjun's vulnerable state, and just slammed the door behind his back.

Obviously, what was Yeonjun expecting? Was he really expecting Soobin say that he had feelings for Yeonjun too? Of course not, and Yeonjun knew this from the start. Then why was he so hurt?

Never once would have Yeonjun thought, that he would cry himself to sleep all because of a particular pretty boy who happened to steal his heart.

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i know this book was supposed to be angst free but sometimes one can't help-