Talk to Me

Hospitalized

"Why did you guys save me?! I wanted to die."
"Meredith."
"No. Save the speech. All your gonna say is that I need help and you love me so much. I honestly don't know how to think right now. Just pump me up with drugs and kill me."

"Meredith. I'm only willing to do what you are willing to do. If you don't want help, I won't make you. I would really like for you to, but if you aren't comfortable talking to someone then you don't have to. Just talk to me? Please Mer. I can't lose you. I really can't. And Ellis can't live without you. Please Mer."

"Wait, really?"
"Mhm."
"So you don't think I'm crazy."
"No. You aren't crazy Meredith. I love you. And I still would even if you were crazy. Because you are the only person that I have felt this way with. Your smile brightens a dark room. Your laugh is like music that I could fall asleep to at anytime. Your eyes are like emeralds that even if you tried, you can't look away from. You are beautiful. And whatever those thoughts tell you.....it's not true. Please don't scare me like that." Derek told her.

"Ok. I love you too."

Derek's POV
Mer was released from the hospital a few days ago. She hasn't really ate. She barely talks. I'm worried about her.

"I'm going to use the bathroom, I'll be back."
"Ok."

Meredith's POV
I didn't have to use the bathroom. I only want to get away. To leave. I don't belong here. No one even loves or cares for me.
I reached I'm the drawer and pulled out a razor blade.
1 cut for each thing wrong with me.
I didn't even realize I was screaming. I was sobbing.

"MEREDITH! OPEN THE DOOR! PLEASE!"
I finally heard Derek. But before I could clean everything up and act like I had just needed to use the bathroom, Derek kicked the door open.

"Meredith."
"I'm sorry." I felt the blood drip down my wrist.
Next thing I know, everything was black again.

"Damn it Mer."
Derek's POV
I'm not mad at her. I can't be mad. I just wish she would talk to me. I can't lose her. Ellis can't.

I called 911 and the paramedics came.
I helped her on the gurney.
"Would you like a ride Dr. Shepherd?"
"Yes please. Thanks."
"Mhm."

Minutes went by. We arrived at he hospital. I don't think anyone knew who it was.
"37 year old female. Attempted suicide. Cuts on Both wrists. Unconscious at the scene." A paramedic said as soon as Bailey swung open the doors.
"It's Meredith!" I quietly yelled, coming out of the back.
"Get her inside. Prep a trauma bay!"

Time went by. So slow.
"We wrapped her wrists. She bled out a lot. But she should be fine." Owen said.
"Thank you!"

"She won't like it, but she has to be admitted to the psych ward." Bailey said.
"Ok. Have you told her?"
"No. I thought it would be best coming from you."

"Hey Mer."
"Hi."
"I have to be admitted to the psych ward, don't I?"
I just nodded.
"I'm sorry Mer. I know you don't like it. But I really want you to be ok."
"Yeah."

Everyone came and visited.
April and Jackson
Cristina and Alex
Bailey and Richard
Mark and Lexie
Pretty much everyone.
Meredith got admitted this morning.

Derek's POV
I visited her as much as they would let me. I hated leaving her. But I hated the thought of her leaving me for good more.
I was talking to Bailey and I heard an intern talking.
"Did you guys hear? Dr. Grey went psycho."
"She is probably gonna get fired."
"Yeah, she might go psycho on a patient and jab a scalpel in them."
They started laughing.

"I suppose you have something better to do than talking about your attending. Or I will see to it, you won't see the inside of an OR for months. If ever." Bailey told them.

I went to visit Meredith.
I talked to her doctor, he said she's been seeing a therapist. He said that she was slowly but surely opening up. She should be able to leave in a week. But she would have to see a therapist 3 times a week.

To be continued.....
This is the longest chapter I've ever wrote.
739 words.