Talk to Me

Concern me More

(TW, mention of suicide, ED, depression, etc.)

Cristina was charting and filling out paperwork at a nurses' station. She heard her best friend next to her and turned.

"Hey Mer, do you wanna get some breakfast?" Cristina asked, closing her chart.

"Umm....no I'm good." That was odd, Meredith almost always eats with Cristina.

"Have you eaten today?"

"Uhh..yeah I ate...at home. I ate a, uh, banana and yogurt."

She is allergic to bananas.. Cristina thought. And when she was there yesterday, all she knew Mer had was Greek yogurt. She doesn't like Greek yogurt. She says it tastes plain.

"Well I'm gonna meat Bailey for pre-rounds...cya Cris!" She jogged towards the intern locker room leaving a bewildered Cristina behind.

Later, when Cristina saw her best friend's boyfriend, she decided to ask him.

"Hey Derek! You got a sec?" She asked, walking over to him at a computer.

"Yeah, what is it?"

"Did Mer eat breakfast at the house today?"

"No, she said she had plans to eat with you. Why?"

"She said she ate at home. A banana and yogurt."

"No, we don't have bananas cause she is allergic and the yogurt we have, she hates."

"I don't want to jump to conclusions, but I think Mer is restricting food. Think about it. I haven't seen her eat anything, your refrigerator is always full. I know she does not cook. She canceled plans with me a lot." It was a leap, but maybe a right one.

"I mean yeah. I normally grab something on the way home, so I don't eat dinner at home. But I never see her eat dinner. She also doesn't want to take a shower with me. Which isn't like Mer."

Normally, Cristina would tut in a 'you guys are so cringey' way, but not this time. "I don't know, I'm just really concerned," when Meredith. And you to them, she had to redirect her statement. "about this patient!" Cristina saw Mer coming, so she dropped the subject.

"Hey what are you guys talking about?" Mer asked.

"Oh this patient," Cristina sighed dramatically, in a typical bored Cristina fashion.

"Oh.....ok."

——
Meredith looked pale and really dizzy, she was standing by a nurses' station.

"Grey are you ok? Don't want you roughing patients if you're sick."

"Yeah Bailey, I'm fine."

"You're always fine, Grey."

"I mean it, Bailey. I'm okay." Her eyes are begging for Bailey to drop it but Bailey has other plans.

"Take this cereal bar, and sit down, Grey."

Mer sat down on a chair behind the desk. Bailey handed her the cereal bar.

"Um..thanks," Mer eyes the offending bar now in her hand.

"No problem. When your done just come find me. I want you to scrub in on a hernia repair at 12:35." The short, but strict and intimidating, resident walked away.

Meredith flipped the wrapped cereal bar over and read the calorie bar, no way. She threw away the bar after Bailey left.

After Meredith and Bailey's hernia repair, Lexie decided to pay a visit to her sister.
Lexie saw Meredith throw away the cereal bar that morning but she was pulled into a surgery so she didn't say anything.

"Hey, Mer!" Lexie's overly cheery voice beamed into Meredith's ears.

"Hey, what's up, lex?" Meredith asked, turning to face her sister.

"Not much: rounds, charts, checking on my clearly sick sister."

"Oh....I just..I... I feel fine."

"You sure? Cause I can look at you if you nee-"

"Lex, I'm fine," Meredith strictly said and walked away with a sigh. Will everyone just leave me alone?

A little while later, 48 hours into Mer's 72 hour shift, Lexie went to her sister's boyfriend.
"Hey Derek?"

"Yeah?"

"Mer doesn't look ok. Have you noticed?"

"Yeah..um I have."

"Well do you know what's wrong with her?"

"You can't tell anyone. We aren't sure yet.. She may be restricting food. Whether on purpose or accident."

After a small gasp, Lexie replied, "You may be right, Bailey handed mer a cereal bar the other day because Mer looked sick. And Mer just threw it away."

"Oh really? I wish she would just talk to me."

"Should we ask her about it?"

"Not yet. She gets scared off easy. I want to give her a little bit of space."

"Okay, but Derek, I'm worried. This could be deeper than just food restriction..."

"I know, but we can't jump to conclusions. She could just feel a little nauseous and not feel up to eating right now. She's a doctor, she knows the consequences of food restriction."

"When you are the patient, anything medical doesn't pay a factor. Only the thoughts in your brain do."

"Do you really think it's that serious?" His eyes were filled with worry.

"I don't know. Her mother tried to kill herself...that could be passed down. I don't think she is depressed, though."

"Ellis knew what she was doing. If she had tried to kill herself, she would have cut the radial artery. She just wanted someone to notice her. To come back for her."

"Like I said, Der. Nothing medical matters when the thought in your head are too loud."