SMILE LIKE YOU MEAN IT | james potter

v. curiosity killed the cat

"I'm not going to kick you anywhere," Andromeda says firmly. "Don't be stupid."

"They got Reg too," Polaris sighs deeply. "We're fucked."

"You've got me," Andromeda says, resting her hand on top of Polaris' shaking ones. "No matter what, you've got me."

-ˋˏ *.·:·.⟐.·:·.* ˎˊ-

PRESENT POLARIS HAS NOT MOVED a muscle since she her sister entered the kitchen. Andromeda hasn't moved either, both of them in a deadlock. It's as if time's standing still, the kitchen dead silent as everyone watches with bated breath.

Polaris is biting her lip, her leg bouncing under the table as she maintains eye contact with Andromeda. She can't read her expression, too many emotions flitting about behind Andromeda's eyes. Tonks' hair has changed to a nervous orange, looking between the two of them like she's waiting for a bomb to go off.

"Alright everyone," Remus clears his throat. "Let's give them some privacy." He takes Nadya's hand as they exit, followed by the Weasley clan, Harry, Luiza, Asher, Alexis and Moody. James hovers uncertainly in the doorway, but Sirius gives him a quick nod. James gives him a curt nod back, closing the door behind him as he leaves.

"Some family reunion eh?" Sirius says, attempting to diffuse the tension a little. "All the good eggs in one place."

Polaris shivers, subconsciously rubbing her left arm. Sirius coughs nervously, running a hand through his hair.

"So you've decided to come back to the real world then," Andromeda begins, a trace of bitterness laced in her words.

"Didn't really decide," Polaris mumbles.

"So what? You're wanted too?" Andromeda shoots a scathing glance at Sirius, who smiles sheepishly. Polaris has never heard Andromeda speak like this, usually she's soft and gentle, willing to listen and understand — even when you're so clearly in the wrong. Now, her voice is full of acerbity, and it makes Polaris' stomach twist.

"Technically yes," she mumbles.

Andromeda sighs heavily, collapsing into a chair and putting her head in her hands. "Right," she says. "Of course you are."

"I'm sorry I..." Polaris trails off, too many things she's sorry for on the tip of her tongue.

Andromeda stays silent, gaze directed on the table. It's like she can't bear the sight of her. Sirius is leaning back in his chair, arms loosely folded across his chest. He glances over at Tonks, who shrugs.

"Say something," Polaris pleads.

"What do you want me to say?" Andromeda says, exhaustion clear in her voice. "Merlin Pol, I had half a mind to think you were dead! You didn't reply to any of my letters, didn't stop by to check in, nothing, and now you just waltz in here like it's nothing."

"I was going to reply to them," Polaris says desperately. "I just— I couldn't find what to say." She swallows thickly. "Everything's so— it's all fucked Andy. I don't know how to deal with it anymore." Her eyes widen as she realise what she's just admitted. The words had tumbled out of her mouth before she could think about them, and now they all know that she's losing her nerve.

Something had snapped in her a year ago, and it was like everything she had pushed down was bubbling up. So she distanced herself even more, cut off all ties to her past and focused on the present. She couldn't, can't, let the walls she's spent years so meticulously building come tumbling down.