Chapter Forty One

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"This is a collection of the tastiest babes of 1988. You're not gonna get to see 'em unless you grab it."

"Why should I care?"

"You can't keep eye fucking my daughter all the time"

"Dad!"

"What?! Am I wrong?"

"Fine! I'll do it"

Miguel slightly reached up to grab if before my dad pulled it up higher.

"You're gonna have to try harder than that"

"You know I can find these pictures on my phone, right?"

"It's not the same. Chicks are hotter on the page. But you won't know unless you get off your butt. Or you could just keep getting foot rubs from that pansy-ass therapist."

Miguel and I chuckled at his comment before he reached up again, still missing.

"Weak! That's all you got, Diaz? I thought you were tougher than this?"

Miguel then prepared himself to lift himself out of the chair with determination set in his eyes. He was doing really well, until he fell out of his wheelchair. I quickly rushed to help him up.

"Damn it!" My dad grunted as he headed down the stairs.

"Are you ok?" I asked.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine"

"All right, gimme a minute, we'll go again" my dad said. "I think I still have my Vanna White Playboy. That'll get you going"

"Don't you get it? You could dangle a new PlayStation and I still wouldn't be able to stand up."

I hated to see Miguel give up. I didn't know how to help him.

-

My dad came up with another idea to help Miguel. Once again, he didn't clue me in on what it was, probably because I would tell him what a horrible idea it was.

He started lighting up a grill to make hot dogs. God, what was he up to now?

"You know why they call this a hibachi?" He asked us.

"They don't. It's a kettle grill"

"What the fuck is a hibachi?" I asked.

"A hundred years ago in ancient China, there was a tiny little village of dairy farmers, living fat off their milk and cheese. Then when a drought came, they needed to get water from the river, but none of the chinamen wanted to do their work."

"Not sure that's the appropriate term"

"China people, whatever" my dad added. "The point is, they were laying around in hammocks waiting for rain. So a wise man gathered up a bunch of twigs and stuffed it under the villagers while they slept. Know what it did then?"

"Lit a fire under them?"

"Exactly. That's where the expression comes from." He kneeled down to meet Miguel's eyes. "You know what that wise mans name was?"

"Hibachi?"

"Damn straight"

"No fucking way" I sarcastically said.

"Except that hibachis are from Japan not China, where there weren't a lot of dairy farmers, historically, or hammocks"

"Alright, smart-ass" I teased.

He gave me a smile before turning back to my dad. "Did you really think I was gonna fall for that?"

"No, but I knew you'd be too busy calling my bullshit and hitting on my daughter to know what I was up to."

"Oh yeah? And what's that?"

"Lighting a fire under you"

Miguel and I quickly looked down at his feet and saw that my dad was telling the truth. He had lit one of his shoe laces on fire and it was quickly spreading up towards his leg.

"What did you do?!" Miguel exclaimed. Before he could try and put it out, my dad held his arms above his head.

"Dad! What the fuck?!"

"Blair, just trust me on this one"

"No! No way in hell!"

I began to look around for anything to put out the fire.

"Are you insane?" Miguel panicked.

"Depends who you ask. Come on, Diaz! Shake a leg!"

"I can't"

"You can if you want it bad enough"

"It's all I want!"

"Then focus! Tell your brain to tell your legs to get their asses moving!"

I quickly found a fire extinguisher and quickly sprayed it on Miguel's foot before the flame could get any bigger.

"I really thought that would work"

"Why didn't it? My foot was on fire and I didn't feel a thing. Why is nothing working?"

"Because we're going about this wrong" I added.

"Then how would you do it?" My dad asked.

"I don't know, but I would certainly not try and burn someone I care about!"

"Guys, it's fine. I should probably clean up before my mom gets back. See ya" Miguel said as he rolled back over to his apartment.

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