Such Kylo Trash

Cindy Liu

You felt as though a train had hit you—repeatedly. Your jaw throbbed with pain, and your lip stung. Not to mention your nose; you weren't sure if it was blood or snot that was making it more difficult to breathe through it, and you were beginning to believe it was likely a mixture of the two. Your stomach wasn't faring much better either. Your shoulder hardly bothered you, although you did remember that it had been bit. Then there was your throat. Not your neck—your throat itself, which stung and felt swollen as though you had caught some horrible disease. Your voice wasn't working save for when you whispered. Even then it hurt to make such an effort. You touched a hand to the cheek where Officer Keln had backhanded you, and you winced. It was a bit swollen as well. Likely bruised, you figured.

With some effort, you rolled onto your side and got to your feet so that you could use the bathroom. You found that your bladder was not too happy with your activities of the previous night. It burned when you emptied it, and you bit back a string of swears, opting to hiss instead. After you rose from the toilet and flushed it, you moved to the sink and started to wash your hands. Kylo Ren took that moment to enter the refresher. You glanced at his reflection in the mirror. His back was streaked with your nail marks, his throat a shade darker than usual with your handprints.

You watched as he lowered his pants and started the shower. The fact that he trained his body as well as his mind was evident. You had never taken the time to appreciate this. The muscles in his arms alone spoke volumes. He could have killed you at any time if he so wanted; he did not need to call upon the Force to do so. Kylo Ren stepped into the spray, facing the showerhead and running his hands through his hair to wet it. You shifted your gaze away from him and took in your own reflection for the first time. You certainly looked the part of a train wreck. Though Kylo Ren had held your neck for a longer duration than Keln, there were two distinct handprints on your throat. Three if you counted the way Kylo had seemed to mark you in two separate locations. Keln's hand was a little smaller than Ren's. You touched the traces of his fingers, which were mostly blotted out by the imprint of the heels of the Force user's hands.

"Come here." You startled at the sound of his voice. Your gaze was drawn to his reflection for several seconds before at last you turned to meet the stare that refused to leave you. With a tentative first step, you walked over to the edge of the shower and there stood. He gestured towards the shirt you still wore, and you stripped out of the remainder of your clothing before slipping into the shower beside him. Kylo Ren took a step back to allow you more room. When you moved forward, the spray hit your bare flesh. You winced, feeling the warmth against your aching muscles. "You should be sent to reconditioning."

"Why?" you managed to whisper, holding a hand against your sore throat and once more wincing at the pain.

"Ready to die for the First Order and wanting to die are two very separate things." He touched the tips of his fingers directly in front of your ear, his thumb running along the bruise on your cheek. Even the ghost-like touch caused it to throb. "I think you would die—if I sent you to reconditioning, you would die."

Probably, your mind agreed. The thought caused you to turn your back to him so that you were facing the spray. "I know you try to avoid it, but... Does sentiment ever get to you? You always seem so infallible. Completely untouchable."

"Do you believe I am otherwise?"

"I believe you're human," you whispered, feeling your throat tightening the more you spoke. You placed your fingers against it again and decided that you would treat yourself to some warm tea to soothe the pain.

Kylo Ren was quiet for several seconds, as though he was unsure how to respond. You could feel him staring at you, however refrained from turning around. "Most would say differently."