Marvel Imagines (Smut, Fluff, Smut/Fluff)

Vision

Requested by MattyStark I know it's not exactly what you requested but it's the best I could come up with

⚠️ Trigger Warning: Past self harm/Present self harm DO NOT READ IF THAT TRIGGERS YOU⚠️

I laid in bed with tears in my eyes as I blared White Blood by Oh Wonder through my earbuds. I traced the scars as I took off my pants the moment that I came through my bedroom door. Steve and I were on a mission my job was to protect the children and I failed two kids were now dead because of my failures. The first victim was only eight and the second was eleven years old. I had promised that I'd get them out safely and I broke that promise to them.

Tears began to flow freely down my cheeks, "why can't I do anything right?" I stood up unplugging my headphones making the music blast through my room, "WHY CAN'T I DO ONE FUCKING THING RIGHT?!" I swiped everything off of my desk and threw a couple things before crumpling down to the ground, "I'm so sorry." I sobbed, "I'm so so sorry you lost your lives due to my failures." I slammed my fist against my leg immediately bringing pain to myself and I began to return to my past thought processes of thinking I was unable of anything but failures.

I began scratching at my leg and I was registering the pain of the skin being scratched raw but I continued, "you deserve this pain just imagine what those families are going through it's probably a hundred times worse than that you stupid, worthless bitch!" I began pulling at my hair but my door quickly opened, "Y/n stop it!" I fought against his grip, "Y/n snap out of it!" I fought harder, "I deserve this pain those kids are dead because of me and my incompetence." Vision hugged me tightly to him.

"I can assure you love that there was absolutely nothing you could do their fate was long decided." I sobbed into his sweater, "I should have ran faster o-o-or shot f-f-faster anything but I just watched as he snapped their necks." He smoothed my hair down, "even if you shot at him there's no certainty that you wouldn't have hit one of the other children so stop blaming yourself for something that you can't change." He said something but it sounded muffled, "Y/n no no keep your eyes open." My eyes began to slide shut.

He started to shout but everything around me muffled as my eyes slid shut and I was surrounded in darkness. I felt the warms tears leave behind sticky, cold trails in there wake and I could feel Vision's fingers on my wrist attempting to detect a pulse. I knew I didn't possibly scratch deep enough to cause any serious damage but it would definitely scar over once it healed. I felt myself getting lifted and pressed against someone's chest and I assumed it was Bucky because I could feel the ridges on his left arm through my t-shirt.

His right hand was shaking against my leg. After a long few minutes I felt myself being laid on a cot in the infirmary. The nurses were rushing around me taking blood pressure and checking for a heartbeat. I wanted to hiss in pain as alcohol was placed on my wounds but I was still immobilized. I felt a hand beginning to run through my hair and in a sense it calmed me but at the same time I panicked since I had no idea who was doing it.

"She blames herself for those two kids on the mission." I heard Steve sigh, "I figured but once the mission was completed and the kids were returned to their parents she began to lock herself inside of her own head." I heard someone shift in a chair and I guessed it was Steve, "she talked to the bare minimum talking in two or three word sentences at most." I heard clear his throat again, "I know it's none of my business but I noticed past scars and I fear that she has a past of self harm that she's keeping from us especially due to when I entered her room after I heard the screams and crashes she was aggressively scratching her legs."

The room went silent and I felt my finger twitch as I tried to fight my way back to consciousness, but they continued talking, "what do we do punk?" I want to smile at Bucky's word but I remained completely still. Once again there was silence, "maybe Sam should try and talk to her." I opened my eyes slowly before looking over at Steve, "thanks Stevie but I think I'll pass on that offer." Sam chose to walk in right at that moment, "what offer?" Steve remained silent but Vision spoke up, "Steve believes that Y/n would benefit from sessions with you."

Sam's eyes widened as he noticed the bandages on my thighs, "did you..."he trailed off the question not needing to be spoken aloud, "no I just scratched some of the skin raw when I broke down." Vision grabbed my chin forcing me to look him in the eye, "you cannot blame yourself for those children Y/n it will be your downfall if you do I can promise you that." I sighed picking at the bandages making Sam slap my hand making me narrow my eyes silently asking if he had a death wish which he responded with a silent surrender motion.

It went silent again before Bucky spoke, "it's your choice Y/n but we really think we'd benefit if you'd talk with Sam." I shook my head, "no because he'll give me that whole therapist look where he's pity me without showing that he's pitying me and I hate being pitied so I will make a deal I will talk with Vision once a week until I'm stable." Vision nodded, "every Tuesday at 4 pm." I nodded while swallowing thickly, perfect." The nurse came in, "lay back down dear you've gone through quite the ordeal and need your rest." Everyone got up to leave but I grabbed Vision's hand, "stay please?"

He grabbed a chair and scooted it next to my bed, "of course I'll stay not like I have anything to do and I'm quite fascinated by you." I gave him a smile laying back down as the nurse instructed not allowing myself to fall asleep due to the nightmares I knew would be inevitable, "I'm not going anywhere Y/n get some rest please." I nodded, "promise you'll wake me if I start showing distress?" He nodded, "you have my word." I allowed my eyes to slip shut knowing he'd keep his word.