look in my eyes, tell me what you see

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I find myself smiling at the stain of your lipstick on my pillowcase, pretending like we're in the high mountains of Everest— as you shield yourself away into the open road. Night comes, your screams send me into an open gate of 'joy'. Neglecting my pain, by your sharp teeth that dig into my skin, every time. A dark lipstick, that glows like your honey-made brown eyes. 

But maybe it's when I stare into them that I feel the tightness inside my chest. Maybe even the angels sing a halo for me to keep you closer.. closer than ever.

But why do you pull away?

-romi

Lisa

Often hearts get broken, the raindrops that fall from the sky come unheard. The soft laughter of kids on the streets is nothing but a memory left from yesterday. From time to time, my heart cries. My lips are pressed tightly as I stare at a wide window. The cars move slowly, almost as slow as the clouds that resemble the sadness inside of me.

There are poems about sadness in all of its manifestations. There is a lot of sadness in the world, and there are a lot of reasons to be sad. I could be one of those people, who expresses such feelings in writing. Pretending that poetry is my drug, or even assume that it will help me cope. 'Sit down, grab a pencil and a piece of paper, and pour your heart out on the page'; some would say. But how can you ever reminisce the feeling when you're in love?

And I was stuck.

I was stuck, loving someone who enjoyed what I can give.

Meanwhile, someone else loved me for me. But somehow in life, we don't always get what we want. Don't we?

Those that we love are the ones who tear us apart.

I was wishing, only wishing that she would look in my eyes, make me rewind back time, and pull her closer than ever. But, the woman that I loved remained ambivalent. Her eyes were the purest shade of brown, meanwhile, her hands had the darkest tint of poison.

"Where is she now?". Jennie asked.

"Chaeyoung?". I asked as she nodded.

"She left". I answered and pressed my lips together.

"What did you.. tell her?". Her voice barely comes out in a whisper.

"Now you care what she seriously thinks?". I chuckled sarcastically and took out a cigarette that was then taken away by an angry Jennie, "Of course I care what she thinks".

"Give me the cigarette back, Jennie". 

"No, I won't". She crossed her arms.

I clenched my jaw, "Give it back".

"I won't. What are you going to do about it?".

Jennie's cat eyes were testing and playing with my deep oceans. Somehow she managed to always find a way, into making my heartache for her. Her eyes fall down to my lips when I don't speak. She knows I will always be down on my knees for her.

She knows I will follow.

Listen.

"Don't provoke me, Jennie".

"Smoking won't save you".

I walked closer to her and looked deep into her eyes, "Neither will you".

Hurt laced through her eyes. "What do you want?".  I asked so near to her face. 

"I want you to stop hurting yourself".

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