Absinthe

Chapter 53: Bananas and Vitamin D

"Wow. What should I do to catch up to you?" Jiwoo said as soon as we arrived at the private parking area dedicated to penthouse owners, Faye and I.

"Errrr, so which one are we taking?" I asked.

"Which one's the cheapest?"

I had three cars parked – my BMW SUV, an uber expensive Benz from my boss that I rarely use, and an equally expensive Jaguar that I only bought when Faye and I were splurging on new clothes, thinking that I needed a sexy car to go with my new look. I regret that decision until now because there's practically no reason for me to use it. I'll probably try and sell it to Faye's husband.

"This one," I said, pointing at the BMW. "This is definitely the cheapest."

"Don't you have a Toyota Vios or something?" Jiwoo asked, scratching his head, a weird expression on his face.

"Uhm, no. Sorry." I said, worried about that weird expression still plastered on Jiwoo's face. "But if this makes you feel uncomfortable, we can stay at home and do other stuff..."

Jiwoo shook his head and surprisingly, he started grinning. "As much as I enjoy being naked and doing naughty things to you, I still want to do other things with you."

"..."

"Fully clothed, I mean." Jiwoo added. "And in broad daylight. Maybe sober, even. Those kind of things, you know?"

Jiwoo took my hand and locked his fingers with mine, before pulling it towards his lips for a slow kiss on each of my knuckles.

"I still want to do the less fun stuff," Jiwoo continued, winking.

I felt my cheeks getting hotter and I took my hand from him. "The keys are inside, you're driving."

We ended up taking the BMW because it looked the plainest and the least luxurious of the three. Despite not having driven one, Jiwoo didn't feel uncomfortable driving it as we wound our way towards Ortigas. I was thinking he might make comments about the interior of the car again, but then I remembered that he also used to work as a valet so he should be used to luxury cars in general.

Being a Sunday, there was barely any traffic on the road and we made it to ZM Megamall in no time. We did have some trouble finding a spot to park, though, and when Jiwoo finally spotted one, it was way too far from the elevators that would take us inside the mall.

ZM Megamall wasn't the mall Faye and I frequented and I had so many things against this mall, starting from their parking area, their layout, and their washrooms! But since this is Jiwoo and we're actually going out on a date, I kept my mouth shut and decided to just enjoy it.

As soon as we got past the body-frisking security guards at the entrance, Jiwoo held my hand and started swaying our now interlocked fingers and linked hands to the beat of the ZM Mall theme song playing loudly near the entrance.

Somehow, it wasn't as cringe-worthy as I thought it would be.

People stared at us openly. They weren't really pointing fingers at us but I swear I could feel people pointing at us with their heads and their lips and a gazillion other gestures they probably were thinking to be the subtler way of saying: look at that gay couple, HHWW in the mall!

"It's my first time doing this," Jiwoo said, suddenly.

"You mean like go out on dates?"

"No. I meant this," Jiwoo raised our interlocked hands to shoulder level. "Holding Hands While Walking."

"I see." I said, mustering all the seriousness I could on my face. "And it never crossed your mind that most of these people are ready to stab me with their knives just because I'm holding hands with you, right?"

Jiwoo stopped abruptly and turned to face me. "What do you mean?"

"Well, look around." I said, signaling to him with my eyebrows. "These people, both the women and the gays, I'm telling you, are obviously jealous that I snagged the hottest guy around."

Jiwoo frowned and turned his gaze left and right, probably noticing for the first time that what I just told him was true. We continued walking towards the escalators for a bit, until we came across a group of buff-looking gay guys. You know the ones who frequent the gyms (in search of their next hookup) to take care of their physiques. There were three of them, muscles bursting out of their ultra-tight, color-coordinated t-shirts that made them look like the Power Puff Girls in steroids!

They were staring at us, more openly than everyone else we've encountered so far. Their eyes were darting from top to bottom, analyzing each and every one of our features.

I knew for a fact that two of them were bottoms. Don't ask me how I know. My gaydar is special that way. I may not be able to assess whether someone is straight or not, but I can tell 100% of the time whether someone is top or bottom.

And the way their eyes lusted for the semi-visible lines underneath Jiwoo's white shirt confirmed that they were indeed power puff bottoms.

Only one of them was staring at me. The one in lime green, or should I say, Buttercup.

And then Jiwoo said something that made the hairs at the back of my neck stand up. Mostly because of embarrassment more than anything else.

"Hey man," Jiwoo said. It was clear he was addressing Buttercup, aka the sole guy who was eyeing me. "It's not polite to stare at someone else's boyfriend."

Oh my god, how could he be this thick? Did he seriously not notice that Buttercup wasn't the problem here. The other two gay buffs were obviously eyeing him and he's acting oblivious to that!

"Sorry," Buttercup, the buff gay guy said. "You guys look good together. More power to your relationship."

"More power?!" laughed the two dudes with him. All three of them were now laughing in high-pitched voices as they made their way past us.

Jiwoo then addressed everyone else who were staring. "Yeah, that's right. He's my boyfriend."

I felt myself blushing out of sheer embarrassment and I forcefully dragged Jiwoo towards the escalators.

"Why'd you have to say that?" I asked, still red and ashamed of what just happened.

"What's wrong with it? You're my boyfriend. And I'm yours." Jiwoo directed us to the elevator going downwards. "I haven't been in a relationship for a long time. And now that I have someone I could be proud of, of course I'd make sure everyone notices it."

My hand tried to face palm myself but failed because Jiwoo was still holding it hostage.

"Where are we going anyway?" I asked, giving up and changing the topic.

"Food court," Jiwoo said nonchalantly "They're giving away free bananas today if we spend more than 200 pesos."

WTF?

"What makes you think I'm interested in their free bananas?"

"Look, the banana I fed you this morning did not have enough Potassium and Vitamin B6."

I raised my eyebrow, unsure if I understood him correctly. "What do you mean? I didn't eat bananas today."

"I meant the banana I gave you this morning. It didn't have any other vitamins aside from you know... Vitamin D."

The girls in front of us in the escalator as well as the college students behind us laughed hard. They didn't bother concealing their laughter. They were all practically roaring.

"Vitamin D," I heard them say, in between fits of laughter. "Vitamin Dick!"