Blind Instincts

Chapter Eleven

~•~

My eyes focus and all I see through the blood and fur floating in the sky, is a beast the size of the sun, a dusty timber hue I couldn't have ever imagined in my dreams. It stands over me, teeth the size of daggers showing in a scowl. Their eyes ablaze, they meet my own, a desolate soul lying beneath.

I don't care move a muscle, accepting that I have lost. Despite my behemoth body already on its side, I expose my neck further, submitting to him.

I look all around with my new set of eyes, the damp grass under me so bright it looks like it's glowing. My legs stock full of fur, all four of them. A stark white coat covers my entire body, something I now know what it looks like.

This moment of realization takes me away from the reality of my situation. I really do have a wolf, and I'm capable of shifting. The Moon truly granted me this ability, and I've always had it. My wolf has been in hiding her entire life, never gaining the courage to reveal herself to her other half. Now, meeting her for myself, is not at all what I expected it to be like.

We're bleeding out and wounded, by our mate nonetheless. He is the reason she decided to front, he drew her out of me in desperation. And we end up like this. She is the instinctual, primal version of me and she is why I have been feeling the affects of the mate bond.

His eyes pierce mine, taking my attention away from the scene around us. His golden gaze roams my body, almost mimicking the pain I feel. Being so close to him right now and inhaling his scent is easing the pain, though I doubt that is his intention.

My submission forfeits my wolf to retreat, my body twisting and breaking back into place. I feel myself as I lessen into a human, weakened by my injured state. My body is bare, exposed to the freezing winds. No longer having a fur coat to keep me warm, I begin to shiver on the damp ground. My eyes are shut and when they reopen, everything is back to how it is supposed to be.

Beside me, Alaric shifts back into his natural form, like myself.

Through the pain, I feel the warmth of his hands swoop under my legs and back, lifting me to his chest. He sifts through all of the innocent watchers with my aching body, not saying a word. The skin to skin contact of both of our bare bodies makes me feel like I'm floating, tingles dispersing all over. I know he feels the same, and it makes me wonder what he is thinking about in this moment, if he has any thoughts at all or if he merely let his wolf instincts take over, the same as myself.

My body is more numb than not, the alphas gentle electricity is the only reason I know I am still awake. I hear the small crowd of bystanders around us moving out of the way as he walks with my aching body in arms, all eyes on us. A low, threatening growl guts from the bottom of his throat as a warming to the people watching the Alpha and I unfold. If any sound was made, I would have heard it. Everybody is dead silent, their breaths all hitched.

I feel my wolf in the back of my conscious mind, her pleading whines telling me she feels the mate bond too. She makes me wonder if he is thinking about how he almost killed me, and if he cares. He could have but he didn't, yet the thought still makes me feel sick.

~•~

I wake up alone in the healers den, my body wretching with soreness. I don't need to stop and think about why I'm here, as it renders in my mind immediately. I'm unsure how long I've been here, but I assume not long. There are a few faded scents left in the room, though Alaric's isn't one. If he was here, he clearly didn't stay long.

Despite my obvious loss, I can't help but think about other things. I truly have a wolf, and she can even see when I shift. After twenty years of being totally blind, I have an outlet to explore a new world. I'm not sure if this makes me happy or scared, but for the first time since I've explored new things, I am grateful I cannot see some parts of the world.

Not only that, but I finally experienced the visualization of the colour "white". Something that is incredibly important to me, as I've been criticized my entire life of being too much of it. I know I'll never know what I look like, but at least I can see from my wolves eyes what the world looks like.

The pack healer enters, checking up on my body. She tells me I've been here since morning, and it's now 9pm. Aside from my obvious soreness, I'll be okay.

"You can go home, Monet," she says kindly, leaving the room. If only I could. I lift my legs off of the side of the bed, pushing myself off. I'm utterly unaware of what I'm supposed to do now, as I usually have somebody near to aid me.

Twp months ago, I would have never even thought about doing anything for myself. Now, I decide it's time to go out on my own.

Without waiting on somebody to come and save me, I find the exit for myself. Like last time, the brisk wind greets me as I step out into the open. It's even colder than it was this morning, shivers dispersing across my body.

I walk on the pavement in the direction I believe to be the pack house, though I am still unsure.

I can't say I didn't deserve to be left here to fend for myself, because I did have it coming, thanks to my wolfs outburst of emotions. I think her experiencing the mate bond to have it ripped from her by the Sanguine pack Luna was enough for her to front, and take everything out on the one that started it all. Alpha Alaric.

I feel helpless on the coldness of the night, my body growing colder the longer I'm exposed to it. I've been fighting off my wolfs desire to come out again, being deprived of experiences the world for two decades. Her survival instincts are kicking in, pleading to help me in this moment. I'm not sure why she didn't come out long ago, the times I needed someone to defend me. Nobody was there, when I was back in my home pack. Not even my wolf.

If I'm honest, todays event just proves how little I have left to lose. I give in, allowing her to take full control of our body.
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Word Count: 1153